


Still Deja Vu

by Cherezsa



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Slow Burn, Train of Thought, also there's best friend!Zack, and i love cloud lol, is it called pining??, there's a lot of feelings, theres some zack/reader if you squint, whomst i also love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24141061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherezsa/pseuds/Cherezsa
Summary: Zack had never been one to break promises but now you weren’t so sure. He’d been gone a long time but he had promised he’d come back, that he wouldn’t leave you. Now he was gone. Promise broken just like your heart. It was his friend who had come back instead, and when he finally woke up and you recognized the light in his blue eyes, you wondered if Zack had managed to keep his promise after all.
Relationships: Cloud Strife/Reader
Comments: 35
Kudos: 194





	1. Moment

You felt numb

So, so numb. 

Your body felt like it wasn’t yours, each movement stiff and mechanical as you wiped the blood from the blond man’s face. You didn’t even know his name but you knew that you couldn’t let him die. You just couldn’t. 

You had found him on your doorstep in a collapsed, bloody heap, he hadn’t even had the energy to knock and all you remember was your healer instincts taking over as you rushed to stop the bleeding. He’d had too many injuries to count and you remembered freezing when his eyes snapped open. They were a brilliant blue, SOLDIER blue. 

He’d reached for your arm, his grip weak as he spoke for the first time. “Zack Fair’s dead.” His voice had been hoarse, too hoarse almost, and for a second you’d wanted to pretend that you hadn’t heard him. 

Just for a second. 

That’s how long you had before your world had come crashing down around you. 

Zack was dead. 

_Dead._

Your best friend was gone. 

You had refused to believe it. You still refused but with every passing moment the hole in your heart grew and grew. Your tears fell into his hair, weighing down the blond spikes and you sniffled as you reached up to wipe your eyes with the back of your hand. It was taking everything you had to not break down right there. No, you had to save him first. You just had to. 

As you dragged him to the guest room, it was clear he’d only made it this far because of the mako in his blood and because he’d overused the potions in his pack. It wasn’t the most ideal situation but you grit your teeth and pulled out your kit, going through vial after vial until you landed on the one you needed. 

Catarina. 

It was your miracle herb. There was nothing it couldn’t cure. 

_Nothing._

You tugged the man’s shirt off, exposing his chest and you whispered a small prayer to yourself as you rubbed the salve onto his skin, right above his heart. You held your breath as it absorbed, glowing briefly before it spread, his body flushing as it took effect. Most of his visible wounds knitted together, leaving razor thin scars on his smooth skin. He looked good as new and you held your breath while you waited for him to wake up. 

He didn’t. 

No, he kept sleeping, and you wondered if he was dreaming, whether they were good dreams or nightmares. Good dreams, you decided when his lips twitched up in the tiniest hint of a smile. They had to be, you thought to yourself as you pressed your palm to his cheek, his skin warm beneath your touch. If he’d been Zack’s friend he deserved them. You sat there a while longer, watching him before you stood and cleaned him up before you spent the rest of the night at his side, waiting. Waiting for the smallest sign of life from him. Waiting for your chest to stop aching, for your tears to stop falling. 

They didn’t. 

Everytime you closed your eyes you could see him, standing across from you, his black hair slicked back, blue eyes bright and smiling as if nothing was wrong. 

_Come on now, you promised me you wouldn’t cry._

You knew he’d be upset with you. There was nothing he’d hated more than seeing you cry. He had used to wipe your tears away and then he would tell you the most ridiculous stories until the two of you were laughing so hard you couldn’t remember why you’d been crying in the first place. He wasn’t here to do that now. No, it was just you. 

Just you and a sleeping SOLDIER. 

A week passed and you spent nearly every moment at his side, waiting for him, wondering who he was and why Zack had sent him to you. There had to be a reason, there was no way he had just shown up. People didn’t _just_ come to Gongaga and they _definitely_ didn’t just come to your doorstep, not unless they’d heard about you, which was unlikely. You stared down at him, tracing your finger softly down his cheek as you wondered what Zack had told him. You wondered if he’d told him you were a healer or if he’d said you were his friend. 

You sighed a bit as you pulled away to grab another vial of Catarina salve. You’d continued applying it every day, holding out hope that it was healing him from the inside out and you knew you’d do it everyday until he woke up. Your hand tingled as you smoothed it onto your chest, your lips moving silently as you prayed to the goddess again. It had become a habit and you figured it couldn’t hurt. 

You were nearly done when his hand had shot up and gripped your wrist hard, hard enough for you to freeze. His eyes were wide open, their brilliant blue reminded you so much of Zack that you couldn’t breathe. You knew he was a stranger, but the way he looked at you, it was like he knew you and your chest felt tight all over again. The feeling only lasted a second, though, before confusion clouded his face. 

“You’re awake,” you murmured, reaching for him as you’d done all these days, your fingers just grazing his hair. 

It almost broke your heart when he flinched away from you, eyes wide in alarm as he glanced around the room, taking everything in before he focused back on you, on your still outstretched hand, and it was like he understood. He grabbed your hand and pressed it to his face without thinking. “You…saved me.” 

You couldn’t speak, all you could do was nod, your heart thumping wildy in your chest as you felt how warm his hand was over yours. There was a beat of silence while you both stared at each other, sizing one another up in an effort to understand something that was difficult for the both of you. You didn’t know what to say, if you even should, you were just glad he’d woken up. 

“How do you feel?” you asked, keeping your voice soft as you waited for him to answer. 

He took a moment to sit up,not letting go of your hand, his eyes unfocusing again before he spoke. “I feel better.” 

You smiled at him, using your other hand to push his hair back. “Well, you certainly look better. Do you want some water?” 

He nodded, dropping his hand from yours so you could reach for the cup of water you’d left on the bedside table. You handed it to him, watching the way his hands shook as he gulped it down. You took the cup back from him and watched him for a few seconds, just to make sure he wouldn’t pass out or throw it back up. “Better?” 

“Yeah.” He smiled a little bit and you felt your heart flip in your chest. “Thank you.” 

You sat back and bit your tongue to keep all the questions you had from spilling out of you. There was so much you wanted to know, so so much, but you didn’t want to scare him. “What’s your name?” you finally asked. 

“Cloud,” he said, “Cloud Strife.” 

“Do you remember how you got here, Cloud?” you asked, surprised by how easily his name flowed off your tongue. It fit him, you decided, as he blinked those sky blue eyes at you, trying his best to answer you. 

He shook his head, finally, flashing you a sorry look when he saw your frown. It bothered him and he didn’t know why. There was something deep inside him that reacted to you, to your presence, as if he’d known you forever even though he knew today was the first time he’d ever set sight on you. He was confused, yes, and a little scared but as he stared at your pretty face he knew he wanted to be near you, even if he shouldn’t. Your bottom lip trembled and even though he was weak and stiff and every single movement hurt, he managed to sit up and pull you into his arms just as the torrent of tears spilled from your eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed incoherently, your shoulders shaking with the force of your sorrow, “it’s just that you remind me of him.” 

His hand smoothed up and down your back awkwardly, unsure of its path as he spoke haltingly. “Remind you of who?” 

“Of Zack,” you sniffled, looking up at him, the resemblance in their eyes was painful. You were expecting him to remember, to soften, maybe tell you what had happened, but as his hand slowed its journey on your back you were taken by surprise when he spoke. 

“Who’s Zack?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's an old version i wrote of this from like 10 years ago out there somewhere but i think this ones better lol i haven't written any serious fanfics in years but cloud strife and the new FF7R, it just wouldn't let me sleep anymore ! still though, thank you for reading ! comments and kudos are always welcome ! love y'all !


	2. Remember

_Who’s Zack?_

You leaned back, your eyes swollen, and gaped at him, not understanding. The first thing you’d ever heard him say was Zack’s name and now…. You refused to believe it. He had to be faking it, he had to, but as you looked him straight in the eye, his gaze unwavering and true, your heart ached again. 

“You don’t remember?” your voice was meek as you realized that his injuries had probably been far worse than you’d thought. He’d been covered in them and you’d chalked it up to him just being a SOLDIER but thinking back, they had been too fresh to be from his battles and you realized that he’d been put through actual hell, all those injuries had probably been to torture him. Your tears were hot and you reached up to wipe them away. 

“ _Should_ I remember?” he asked, his voice dull and his thoughts far away, searching. 

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, freezing when his hands closed over your trembling fingers. You looked up at him and suddenly you were somewhere warm. _You were running, the fresh summer grass tickled your bare feet and you squealed in laughter as you ran from a messy haired Zack, dodging the water balls he lobbed at you._ You snapped your eyes from Cloud’s before you started blubbering again. “You should eat.” 

He didn’t say anything as you stood, the rustle of your clothes and the click on your shoes was so loud in the silence that followed. “Think you can stand?” 

“Yeah,” he grunted as he dragged himself up, rising to his full height and swaying for a second. He took a step and his knees crumpled beneath him, luckily you were close enough to catch him before he hit the ground. He groaned out a laugh. “Guess not.” 

“You just need to take it easy,” you soothed, “you’ll be good as new in no time.” 

“I hope you’re right,” he said wryly as you helped him all the way to the kitchen where you lowered him into one of the chairs, the one in front of the window. The waning light made him glow and you ignored the way your stomach flipped. 

“Here,” you poured him a cup of iced tea, “give me a minute to fix dinner up.” 

“Thank you,” he said as he settled down and watched while you filled two bowls with beef stew. It was still hot, thankfully, and the delicious aroma made your stomach growl so loud it was almost embarrassing. You grabbed a dry Catarina leaf and crushed it, sprinkling it over one of the bowls. You figured that one more dose couldn’t hurt and Cloud didn’t complain as you set it in front of him. You had half expected him to dig in immediately but you were happily surprised when he waited for you to sit down across from him. 

“Make sure you eat everything,” you advised before the two of you settled into a comfortable silence. 

He was nearly done with his bowl when you just couldn’t help yourself, you needed to air out your questions. You wanted to piece together the mystery sitting across from you. “So, where are you from, Cloud?” 

He looked up from his bowl, a bit surprised before he continued eating. “Nibelheim,” he replied evenly. 

“Nibelheim,” you echoed, the word strange on your lips, “I’ve never heard of it.” 

“I doubt you would, it’s a backwater little town.” He flashed you a wry grin that made you giggle. 

“Why’d you leave?” you asked. It was a bit of a useless question, no one in their right mind would want to stay in a small town. 

He sighed, his eyes going faraway again. “I couldn’t stay there so I went to Midgar, joined SOLDIER.” A little smile touched his face. “I became 1st class.” 

“Just like Zack,” you murmured and your eyes burned once again as sadness smothered you. 

“Huh?” Cloud asked, bright and alert now that he had a good meal in his stomach. 

“Nothing,” you blurted out. “Why did you come to Gongaga? Why not Midgar?” 

It took him a few seconds to reply and when he did, he sounded sheepish. “I was hoping you’d be able to tell me. I don’t- I don’t remember much.” 

He looked so disappointed in that moment, and you knew he was probably beating himself up inside. There were only a few reasons why he would be so far from the city and none of them were good. You wished Zack were here, he’d know what to do, he always did. “It’s okay, it doesn’t really matter anyway. You’re here and you’re safe.” You smiled at him and gathered the plates, taking them to the sink where you rinsed them out. “What do you remember?” 

You glanced over at him and fumbled the bowl you were drying. He hadn’t taken his eyes off you, following your movements, as if he were analyzing you, trying to figure you out just like you were trying to figure him out. “I remember you,” he said, his voice deep and smooth. “I don’t know how but I do.” 

Your lungs seized up again and you bit your lip, trying your best to keep a level head. This only gave you more and more questions and you knew deep in your heart that you’d never get any answers. You sat back down, reaching for your cup, a tired smile on your face. “You only get more mysterious, Mr. Strife.” 

He chuckled as he ducked his head. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” you waved off his apology, “I like mysteries.” 

You laid off the questions after that, you were afraid that his answers would only leave you befuddled. You’d wait, instead, because good things came to those who did. 

At least you hoped so. 

The rest of the day was spent coaching Cloud through some stretches. His muscles hadn’t atrophied, thankfully, and when you mentioned it he chalked it up to the mako in his body. Maybe so, you’d told him, but that didn’t mean he could just go straight back to what he was doing before. And as you slowly made the stretches more and more difficult you were thankful that he didn’t complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short chapter this time lol, the next one is longer i promise! thank you guys for reading, hope you guys are liking it so far, as always comments and kudos are always welcome in this house! love y'all !<3


	3. Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some zack flashbacks because i like pain

It was early morning a few days later. You had popped your head into Cloud’s room to make sure he was sleeping okay before you headed out to tend to your garden. You had neglected your plants for long enough and you frowned when you saw just how many weeds had sprouted up in the past weeks. You knelt down, carefully sorting through the herbs, murmuring soft apologies as you tended to them, watering them drop by drop to make sure you didn’t accidentally drown them. Your Catarina plants were particularly spoiled, and you patted the rich dirt around them gently, eyeing their delicate stems and frail leaves. They were your most prized plant, only blooming once a few years, and every day you prayed to the goddess, begging her to somehow reverse the mako poisoning that was killing them. 

The sun was warm on your back and you were so absorbed in your gardening that you jumped when Cloud spoke up from somewhere behind you. 

“Need any help?” 

He wore an old outfit of Zack’s that was a little too big for him and you smiled, pushing the sadness away as you nodded. “Thank you.” 

He smiled and knelt next to you, his eyes roaming over the various plants before they stopped on the ones in front of you. “I’ve never seen that plant before.” 

“It’s called Catarina,” you said, sprinkling a few more drops of water on it, “and it’s the plant that saved you.” 

“No, you saved me,” he said. 

You couldn’t help the flush that spread across your cheeks. It had been happening a lot lately and you wanted to be mad about it but you weren’t. “Well, yeah, but it wasn’t just me.” You handed him the watering can and he took over for you, sprinkling the water delicately, following your directions as you moved down the row. 

You told him how you’d become a botanist, how you had learned from your mother, how she had learned from hers. You told him about how it healed everything, how it was your saving grace. You also told him that it was dying. 

“Dying?” he asked, shock coloring his voice. 

You looked at him sadly. “Ever since the mako reactors were built it hasn't grown the same. It used to flourish and now…” 

You trailed off and watched as he reached forward, trailing a finger delicately across one of its leaves. He did it so carefully and reverently that for a second you forgot that he was a SOLDIER. In that moment he was just like you, in constant awe of the world around you. “It’s valuable then?” 

He said it as more of a statement and you managed another smile. “Something like that.” Valuable felt like an understatement. You’d seen it do miracles and you wondered if it would have been enough to save Zack. Your chest burned as you wondered how things had been different. He had asked you, he’d asked you to go be a SOLDIER with him so many years ago and you’d said no. You’d said that you had lives to save and now you wondered if you could have saved him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Cloud grabbed your hand, bringing you back to the real world. 

Tears had filled your eyes and you ripped your hand from him, wiping them away before they could stream down your face. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” he said, his voice dropping nearly to a whisper before he raised his eyes to yours. “Look, I don’t know what happened but you don’t have to be sorry for feeling what you’re feeling.” 

You looked at him with watery eyes and wondered why he was being so nice. You were usually better and keeping your emotions in check but ever since Cloud came, you were a mess. You knew you’d probably be a mess for a while still and you were relieved to know that Cloud understood. “Still, it’s not professional.” You forced a weak laugh and stood up. “Come on, we should eat breakfast.” 

He didn’t say anything as he followed you back to the house where the two of you settled into a comfortable silence, the radio playing softly in the background as you sipped at your coffees and ate the bread you had bought yesterday at the market. The two of you had spent most of your days this way, just doing normal things, and it was becoming scarily easy to get used to it. 

Used to Cloud. 

You shook the thought from your head and leaned forward a bit, commanding his attention. “Should we take a walk before lunch time?” 

“What about a run?” he asked, a playful smile on his face. 

“ _You_ can run.” You giggled and finished up the rest of your coffee, the bitter taste lingering on your tongue. “I’ll follow.” 

“That’s no fun,” he mumbled as he laughed and stood from the table. “You ready?” 

A little thrill went through you as you tied your hair back and followed him outside. You let him lead the way and were surprised when he led you down a path that you’d walked many times before with Zack. The path was long and wound through a grove of trees before continuing cutting across the rolling hills, the long, uncut grass tickled your ankles and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face. Cloud wasn’t one for small talk but he tried for you. 

“This place is nothing like Nibelheim.” He admired, running his hand across the bark of a tree the two of you were passing, his hand catching on a branch. “There’s so much green here.” 

“Is Nibelheim in the desert?” you asked, your eyes roaming across the vegetation, idly watching for snakes and other dangers. 

“No, it’s in the mountains,” he paused and pulled a leaf from one of the trees, rubbing it between his fingers. “It’s just that there’s a reactor there…” 

You slowed down and reached for his arm, giving it a quick squeeze. He needn’t say more. ShinRa ruined everything they touched and you had a feeling he hated it just like you did. “We had one here, a long time ago.” 

“What happened to it?” he asked as he matched his steps to yours. 

“It blew up,” you said, your voice barely louder than the wind. “It destroyed half the town and we’ve been rebuilding ever since.” 

There was another pause and you wondered if he was imagining the destruction like you did during sleepless nights sometimes. You wondered what you would have done if you’d been alive back then, how you would have made it through. 

“That’s horrible,” he finally said, his voice cutting through your thoughts. 

“I’m just glad it’s gone. I would have hated to see it.” You turned to him then and shoved his arm lightly. “Let’s change the subject!” 

He looked a little taken aback, unsure of what to say. “To what?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” you tilted your head and looked around the plains, pausing when something shiny caught your attention. “Oh, what’s that?” You sprinted towards it, freezing when you saw that it was a buster sword. 

Zack’s sword. 

Cloud was right behind you and you heard him take a breath. “That’s mine, I thought I’d lost it.” 

You whipped around, your heart beating like crazy again as you remembered that last time you’d seen it. Zack had carried it like a treasure, spending night after night polishing it as he told you stories of Angeal, of Sephiroth, of Genesis, of his flower girl. 

_“You’d like them, I think,” he’d said with the toothiest grin. “Especially Aerith.”_

_He’d said her name with such devotion that you knew right then and there that he was head over heels for her. “You love her, don’t you?” You couldn’t keep the teasing grin off your face and you ducked out of the way when he threw the cleaning rag at you._

_“Is it that obvious?” He laughed, a fond look in his eyes. “You always read me like a book.”_

_“It’s a gift.” You threw the rag back at him, laughing when he didn’t catch it._

_“Can I still return it?” he joked with a wink before getting back to work._

That had been almost five years ago and your whole body ached for a few seconds. You pressed your hands into your sides to keep them from shaking as your memories began to overwhelm you. You remember sitting outside, flipping through a book while Zack went through his exercises, his sword glinting in the sun as he slashed and parried and sliced through invisible enemies. 

“Hey, you okay?” Cloud cut through your thoughts again, his hands heavy on your shoulders as you came back to the present again. 

“Yeah, it’s just...” You trailed off, your eyes going back to the sword on the ground. “Where did you get it?” 

He paused and stepped back, confusion sweeping over his face for a second before he blinked it away. “SOLDIER issue. I’ve always had it.” 

No he hadn’t, you knew he hadn’t and you wanted to scream it, to tell him everything, to demand that he remember but you kept your mouth shut. It wouldn’t do any good, you knew that too, you’d seen the confusion, the truth of his ignorance and you wanted to hate him but you just couldn’t. 

He’d been Zack’s friend, and that had to be enough for now. 

“We should take it back home,” you said, voice flat. “I might still have some old polish left.” 

He picked it up and looked at it with a devotion you hadn’t expected. It was like he was looking upon an old friend and for a second you saw Zack again. He’d loved that sword and you could only hope that Cloud did as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for reading ! i wish i could kudos your comments back <3 anyway, get ready for some soft cloud in the next few chapters :') 
> 
> love y'all !


	4. Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay, i love flustered cloud :)

Once you were back you threw yourself into housework, eager to keep your hands busy, trying your best to outrun your thoughts. Cloud offered to help but you waved him off, handing him a tin of polish you always had on hand for Zack’s visits and shooing him away to his room. He was concerned for you, you could see it in his eyes, but he didn’t insist and you were thankful for it. 

You were a mess and you couldn’t help the tears that streaked down your face every now and then as you swept through the house, organizing, ignoring the waves of sadness that swept over you whenever you stopped moving. You felt like a shark in that moment, if you stopped moving you’d die. 

A metal clang from the kitchen snapped you out of your thoughts and you rushed toward it, worried that something had happened to Cloud but no, instead you found him picking up a bunch of pots and pans off the ground. He glanced up when you walked in and flashed you a sheepish smile. “I was looking for another cutting board.” 

He’d set out some condiments on the kitchen island and your chest felt warm when you realized that he had been making lunch for the two of you. “Oh, Cloud,” you sighed out his name as you rushed to help him, “you didn’t have to!” 

“I wanted to,” he replied as he straightened and put the dishes in the sink. “I made us some sandwiches.” He looked a little embarrassed and you couldn’t help but enjoy the soft flush that bloomed across his cheeks. 

You smiled surprised at how sweet he was acting. “Let’s eat then.” 

He returned your smile and took the two plates over to the dining table, where you joined him a few seconds later with two glasses of lemonade and as the two of you settled into a comfortable silence you realized once again how easy it was to get used to him. You’d grown accustomed to being alone. Your family had been gone for a while now and for the past few years the only bright spots in your life had been your Zack’s visits. 

Zack had been there the day you found out your parents were gone. You had sobbed in his arms, inconsolable, and he’d held you until your tears had run dry and even then he’d stayed. He made sure you knew he’d always be there, no matter what, and that he’d be your family forever, no exceptions. You had known that already but hearing it from him had given you the strength to keep on going through those dark dark times. You were thankful for him, and you always would be. 

You sighed softly. Your heart ached less when you thought of him now, it still hurt but you knew you were healing and one day soon you’d be able to think of him without feeling sad. Soon. 

The rest of the day was spent relaxing. Cloud polished his sword, taking great care and making sure he cleaned each and every groove while you sat there and sketched. You sketched the Gongagan hills outside your window, the little birds that fluttered by, pausing to peek into your home, and without thinking you sketched Cloud. You sketched his spiky blond hair, the intensity of his eyes, the focused curve of his mouth, the way his hands worked on the sword as if he’d had it his whole life. It was like he felt your eyes on him because he glanced up and you were quick to flip the paper over, hoping that he didn’t notice how flustered you were. 

It was too easy, you told yourself once again, it was too easy to get used to him. 

The next few days were spent doing the same. The two of you fell into a little routine, gardening together, cooking together, you even joined him when he did his SOLDIER drills. You were sore most days but you didn’t want Cloud to rush his therapy and you knew that he would slow down if you did them with him. A lot of the movements you’d learned from Zack but you were rusty and it showed. You felt clumsy in comparison but Cloud continued to encourage you, telling you that your form was good and practice would make perfect. 

You were doing some quick stretches, warming up when Cloud walked out with his sword. You stopped and watched him approach, his eyes stormy as if he wasn’t sure whether this was a good idea or not. He hadn’t taken it out of his room ever since the day you found it and just seeing it again was enough to give you pause. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to feel anymore. 

“I figured I’d try to practice my swordplay,” he said dryly before he cracked a smile. “Don’t want to forget how to use it.” 

“I’ll watch if you don’t mind,” you said as you sat down on the floor. He shrugged, as if saying ‘suit yourself’ and walked away until he had enough space. 

He’d already done his warm ups and you watched as he went through the motions. Lunging, slicing, feinting. It was like a dance and you were enraptured, watching as he cut down the invisible enemies that surrounded him. He was a one man army and you were in awe as you watched the sword flash with every swing. It was like the sword was winking at you and you wanted to answer the call so badly. 

He noticed your attention and he stopped, his chest rising and falling with each of his breaths. “Are you any good with a sword?” 

You shook your head. You had never tried to swing one before, you’d only ever relied on your hands, your fists, your quickness to protect yourself and you’d already made it this far. “I’m not sure.” 

There was a curious spark in his eyes and he held the sword out. “You want to try?” 

You looked at him, at his expectant gaze, and you thought back to when Zack had asked you the same exact thing. You had stared at the sword, your stomach flipping as you thought about all the battles, all the carnage it had seen and you had said no. You were a healer and you didn’t want to hurt anyone ever but now things were different, you were different, and you knew that when the universe presented you with an opportunity twice you’d be a fool to refuse the second time. You nodded as you got to your feet. 

“Come on.” He smiled and beckoned you towards him where he stood in the middle of the yard, bathed in yellow sunlight, his hair like spun gold. He walked you through the poses, different from the ones you had practiced before, and you felt so clumsy in comparison but you pressed on, determined to make them both proud. 

You did, if Cloud’s praise was anything to go by, when he finally deemed you ready to hold the actual sword. “Here. It’s a bit heavy but you can handle it.” 

As he placed the hilt in your hands you were consumed with the overwhelming power of it and for the first time in your life you realized what it might have felt like to be a SOLDIER. It was exhilarating. 

“Here, let me help you get the feel of it.” Cloud stepped up behind you, his chest pressing against your back as his hands covered yours, showing you how to correctly go through the motions. 

You could feel the power radiate from him and you couldn’t keep your heart from hammering away in your chest. For a second you wondered what Cloud would look like in battle, lethal, fierce, and then you were swept away as he guided you through the swing, the blade whistling through the air. Despite the weapon, you felt so safe in his arms that for a moment you forgot where you were and what you were doing. 

It was just you and Cloud. 

And the world came crashing back when he released you and you truly felt the weight of the sword for the first time. It was heavy, much heavier than you had expected and your arms trembled as you did your best to execute the swing on your own. You did so clumsily, nearly dropping the sword and Cloud chuckled as he rushed to take the weight from you. 

“Guess I was wrong.” He broke out in a smile when you pouted. “Let’s call it a day.” 

“Tired already?” you huffed, holding back a giggle as the two of you trudged back up the hill. 

“Just a little,” he replied, shielding his eyes from the setting sun. 

The two of you had been out there for a while already and all you wanted to do was shower. It wasn’t until later, when your hair was still damp, that you realized how tired you were. Your eyes drooped as you watched the news, the incessant stream of Midgar news lulling you to sleep. It was always ShinRa this and ShinRa that and before you knew it, you were knocked out. 

You woke with a start, your eyes darting to the clock. It was the middle of the night and with a rush of warmth you realized that Cloud had covered you in a blanket so you wouldn’t be cold. The realization made you feel fuzzy and you smiled to yourself as you made your way to your room. You were wide awake and you glanced around your room, your eyes alighting on a pile of old letters. You grabbed them and began to read through them. 

A lot of them were from your school days, little letters you would write back and forth with your friends about little things, happy things. The letters got longer as you kept reading, they became love letters, declarations from boys who had become smitten with you during your brief visits to town. Some of the words still brought a thrill to your heart and you grinned. You had just reached the letters Zack had written you during his training when there was a knock on your door. 

You stood and walked to the door, pulling it open to find an embarrassed looking Cloud standing there. “Oh, Cloud, what’s wrong?” 

“I-” He ducked his head, nervous. “I can’t sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter for y'all ! i hope cloud isn't too ooc , idk i like the idea of soft!cloud lol he's got me feeling some type of way 
> 
> also i might be getting uncanceled from work soon, i'm not sure yet but if i do i might slow down on updates, i'll let you guys know :)
> 
> anyway, thank you guys so much for reading ! as always, thoughts and kudos are always appreciated ! love y'all <3 !


	5. Soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a bit of sad cloud hours in this, i'm sorry

You opened your door wider. “Come in, I can’t either.” You laughed softly as you welcomed him into your room. 

He looked around, eyes wide as he took in your bedroom, the dried flowers you had pinned to the wall, the scattered papers on your desk, the silk scarves hanging off the back of your chair. You walked over to your bed and moved some of your blankets out of the way to make room but he chose to sit in your chair instead. 

“Sorry for knocking out on you earlier.” You placed one of your pillows over your legs so you could rest your elbows. “I don’t know what happened.” 

“You were tired.” There was a little pause and you heard him take a breath before he caught your eyes. “Sweet dreams?” 

“Hardly,” you rolled your eyes, “the news definitely didn’t help.” 

“It never does,” he shook his head and looked around again, his eyes stopping on the pictures you had on the wall. There were some of your family, of you in the garden, of the fair, of your friends, of Zack. You watched with bated breath as his eyes lingered on them, wondering if he’d remember, if he’d ask. 

He didn’t. 

His eyes glossed over for a second before he blinked, focusing on you again. “Do you ever get lonely?” 

You leaned forward, resting your chin in your hands as you mulled over your thoughts. “I do,” you said, a familiar ache settling deep in your chest, “but I’ve gotten used to it. I picked this life, I can’t complain.” You were lying to yourself but it was better than the truth. “What about you? You probably travel a lot, being a SOLDIER and all.” 

“I didn’t travel, I went on _missions_ ,” he breathed out a laugh, “they kept me too busy to be lonely.” The wry smile he had faded into a sad one and your heart ached for him, for Zack. This was the life they had picked. 

“What about now?” your voice was softer than before and you felt like you were treading uncharted waters. 

He froze, his eyes on the floor. “I don’t know.” He took another breath before he looked up. “I feel like I’m missing something.” 

You’d had this conversation before, years ago, when Zack had told you he was leaving for SOLDIER. He’d always been restless and the two of you had known that he wasn’t made for a small town like Gongaga. He needed to leave, to see things, to live the way he always dreamed of. “You miss the adventure,” you said, leaning back. 

“The adventure?” He looked thoughtful for a few seconds before he laughed it off. “I don’t know about that. I think I’m good on adventures for now.” 

“That’s what you say right now, Mr. Strife,” you teased and tossed him one of your pillows. 

He caught it effortlessly and threw it back. “Watch it!” 

The two of you broke out in giggles before silence settled over you once again. Cloud looked thoughtful as a shadow passed over his face. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” you said softly, focusing on him. There was a strange sort of sorrow in his eyes and you bound out of bed without thinking, grabbing his hand and pulling him next to you. You’d know that lost look anywhere. “You can tell me anything.” 

He looked at you, surprised at having you so close so fast and your heart fluttered when his shoulders relaxed. 

“If I stayed, do you think I could start over? Be a regular guy.” His voice had lowered to a murmur and his words suddenly felt very intimate, like they were only meant for the universe and for you. 

You reached up without thinking, your fingers trailing softly across his cheek. He was so close and your cheeks flared red when he covered his hand with yours, pressing it against him, eyes closing for a brief second. Your heart was beating so fast that you almost couldn’t speak. “Yeah, I do.” 

He blinked his eyes open and you saw the flash of hope and relief in them before he shook them away. “Sometimes I want to stay, I want to b-” 

“But you won’t.” You were surprised by how heartbroken you felt at the thought. A strange loneliness came with the realization and you did your best to shrug it away, focusing on the man before you instead. 

“I feel like I’m putting you in danger,” he said, not letting go of your hand. 

The implications of his words were clear and they sent a shiver of fear down your back. He was a SOLDIER and you knew that they’d chase him down if they caught wind of him, they weren’t the type to leave loose ends. Deep down you knew that if it came to it you’d fight them all, tooth and nail, but Cloud didn’t want that, you could see it in his eyes. “They think you’re dead, don’t they?” 

“I don’t know,” he said, his eyes hardening as he was overcome with his thoughts. You wondered if his last fight had been side by side with Zack, the two of them facing down the enemy, fearless until the end. “But I don’t want to risk it.” 

“I understand.” You avoided his eyes, not wanting him to see how glassy they’d become. You heard him take a breath before he said your name, his voice low in the quiet of the room. You looked up and blinked, watching as his gaze softened, his eyes just as bright now as in the sunshine. 

“I haven’t thanked you for helping me.” Your hand felt small in his and your heart skipped a beat when he smiled. 

“You don’t have to,” you replied, shrugging, trying your best to seem as unaffected by him as possible. “It’s what I do.” 

“Still…” He looked at you, eyes bright. “Thank you.” 

“I’m just happy you’re better.” You looked away, feeling strange and lightheaded as you realized that he still hadn’t let go of your hand. 

The air felt lighter after that and the rest of the night was spent talking about less serious things. He told you about Niebelheim, about its beautiful winters, how the spring was always full of flowers, he told you about his friend Tifa, and you told him your favorite colors, about hot summer days, baking disasters, books you’d read. It was mostly you that talked and Cloud listened but somewhere along the night, when your eyes became weighed down by sleep again, Cloud told you a story. 

It was about a boy who met his hero, about the adventures they went on, how they defeated the bad guys and then there was the biggest battle of all. The hero saved the boy and hacked and slashed his way through an entire army, falling to his knees at the end. You fell asleep before he finished and when you woke up the next morning you felt like you had missed something. 

It was nearly noon when you finally walked out to the kitchen. There was a cup of cold coffee on the table and you heated it up in the microwave, holding back a yawn as you looked out the window. It was overcast and your heart flipped when you saw Cloud round the corner, his hands full with your gardening supplies. 

“You watered the garden?” you asked as he walked in, pausing to wipe his shoes on the door mat. 

“I had to, you were knocked out cold.” He smiled and you turned away with a playful roll of your eyes. 

The coffee was hot again and you blew on it before you took a sip, the bitterness waking you up. “Did you sleep okay?” 

“For the most part,” he said as he sat down, reaching up to tousle his hair. He looked restless, anxious, and you wondered if something had happened. 

“You okay?” you asked, walking over and sitting down across from him. 

He looked up and immediately averted his eyes, concerning you even more. “It’s nothing.” 

You reached for his hand. “Cloud.” 

He looked at you, expression unreadable. “I’m leaving for Midgar tomorrow.” 

His words barreled over you like a freight train and for a second you couldn’t speak. You weren’t supposed to be surprised and you _definitely_ weren’t supposed to feel hurt but you were and it made you mad. This meant you had done your job well, you’d healed him, he was ready to go but, just as you’d feared, he’s been too easy to get used to. 

“Oh, I see...” You leaned back, letting go of his hand. 

He followed, catching your hand in his, sending a spike of heat through you. “Come with me.” 

His eyes were earnest, hopeful even, and he looked just like Zack had when he’d asked you to do the same thing all those years ago. He’d been so hopeful, all smiles as he painted you a pretty picture. The two of you against the world, SOLDIERs fighting bad guys, side by side forever, glorious. You had wanted to, you really had, but deep in your heart you had known that you would never leave Gongaga. Your life belonged to the earth, you were the Catarina’s caretaker, you were supposed to _heal_ and you’d made your peace with it. 

And now, even thought you hated it, nothing had changed and you were terrified. You knew there was more out there, so much more, and you had a feeling that’s why Zack had sent Cloud to you. He was another chance for more and yet… 

“I- I can’t. I’m sorry.” You apologized, looking at the floor as you tried to keep your hands from shaking. You were a fool. 

A frown crossed his face and he was quick to replace it with a little smirk. “It was worth a try.” 

He gave your hand a last squeeze before he let go. You could see the question in his eyes and you were relieved when he didn’t say anything. You knew that if he asked, you’d tell him and you knew you weren’t ready to face those demons yet. 

“What will you do?” you asked, pausing to clear your throat. 

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe I’ll be a merc.” 

“A mercenary?” You couldn’t help your surprise. ”You’re not going back to SOLDIER?” 

He rolled his shoulders, uneasy. “It’s time for a change. SOLDIER doesn’t feel right.” 

“I get it.” You nodded and reached for your coffee, pausing when you noticed the dizzy look in Cloud’s eyes. You weren’t exactly sure what his reasons were, but you knew that there was a lot more to it than he let on. 

The rest of the day passed by in a blur and the ache in your chest only grew worse and worse. You kept telling yourself that that was what was supposed to happen, this was good news, but no matter how many times you repeated it, you didn’t believe it. You had bid Cloud goodnight only to turn and toss for hours before finally falling into a fitful sleep. 

It was early morning when you opened your eyes again and it was like you hadn’t slept at all. Still, you roused yourself and made your way to the kitchen, intent on packing Cloud some food before he left only to freeze when you saw that his door was open. You shuffled over, your heart making its way up your throat when you saw that it was empty. The bed had been made with military corners, the clothes you’d given him were folded neatly at the edge of the bed, and the chocobo figurine you’d bought him was gone. He was _gone_. 

You ran back through the house, throwing open the back door, hoping you’d catch a small glimpse of him against the horizon or something, something you could wave goodbye at. You didn’t want to believe he’d left without saying goodbye and the wave of relief that washed over you when you saw him kneeling next to Catarina garden made your knees go weak. He cut a striking figure in his First Class uniform, stark against the green grass and you stumbled a bit over your feet when he turned to you, his eyes too blue in the morning light. 

“Cloud!” You were breathless by the time you stopped next to him and the look he leveled you with was enough to make your face feel hot. “I- I thought you’d…” 

“You thought I left?” He managed to sound just surprised enough that you felt bad for even thinking he had. 

You ducked your head, embarrassed as you nodded. “You were just gone, I didn’t know.” 

He chuckled and you looked up when he took a step toward you, his expression soft and you fought the urge to reach out to him. “Tell me why you won’t come.” 

Your stomach dropped and you looked down at your hands, every single excuse you’d ever thought up bouncing around your mind. You wanted to have a good excuse, a better one, one that made sense but you didn’t and Cloud waited. “I’m scared,” you finally whispered, fighting back the hot tears in your eyes. You were scared to leave, to see the world, to leave the only thing you had now. 

He took a step toward you and you kept your eyes firmly on the ground. “I understand,” he said, reaching up to tap your cheek playfully, his smile warm. “Maybe I’ll come visit sometime.” 

“Goodbye, Cloud,” you said, watching as he sighed, a dark look passing over his face. 

He hefted his sword higher onto his back and you stopped him before he turned, pressing a Catarina vial into his hand. The look of comprehension that flashed across his eyes wasn’t lost on you. “Thank you.” 

You nodded, stepping back from him, doing your best to keep yourself collected, and watched as he walked away. You waited until he was just a speck in the distance before you waved and your heart felt warm when he waved back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's an extra long chapter for you guys, hope y'all liked it ! thank you guys so much for reading !! i'm going back to work so it might be a bit longer between chapters from now on but i'll try and have them up semi-regularly
> 
> anyway, as always, comments and kudos are always welcome ! stay safe you guys ! love y'all <3!


	6. Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another long chapter you guys! a lot happens lol, there's zack flashbacks and some hand holding near the end :)

The days that passed were fairly normal. You sank back into your usual routine, doing the same chores, doing the same things. The only difference was that you noticed the silence now, and there was no way to ignore it. It was there no matter what you did and it was beginning to wear you down. 

That morning was especially hard. You’d been having dreams, good ones, ones where you sipped cool lemonade and sat around yellow flames, a spiky haired boy across from you. It was Zack at first, his chest puffed out as he prepared to launch into one of his long stories, then you blinked and it was Cloud, his eyes wide as he stared at the night sky, pointing out the brightest stars. Your heart felt warm and you didn’t want to wake up. 

And still you did, taking a moment to blink up at the ceiling before you got ready. It was market day and you carefully began to pack your basket with your potions and remedies, determined to sell them all before sunset otherwise you’d have to spend the night in town again. You were already on your way out, tying your hat onto your head when you stopped. Something was wrong, you could taste it in the air, feel it in your bones, and you walked towards your garden, stomach twisting more and more with each step. 

You stopped a few feet away, frozen as you stared out at the ruined Catarina stems. The delicate leaves had shriveled up, the once vibrant green gone as they littered the ground. It was as if the rest of your world had come crashing down and you rushed forward, dropping to your knees, hands unthinkingly going to your plants, looking for life, for hope, for _something_. 

There was nothing and soon it was your sobs that filled the silence. Your tears soaked into the ground and it was like you could feel the earth weep beneath you, the mako poisoning it, and you realized that ShinRa had finally finished taking everything from you. Rage and grief filled you and you didn’t know what to do. Eventually you made it home on shaky legs and you collapsed onto the nearest chair, where you stayed the rest of the day, mourning. 

You shouldn’t be crying like this, you kept telling yourself, they were just plants. Only they weren’t and you knew it. They had been your entire life. It was all you had ever done, ever since your mother had deemed you ready for the responsibility. You had been doing the goddess's work, that’s what you’d always been told, you were there to heal, to save, and now you couldn’t. The Catarina was gone and the terrible feeling in your gut told you it would never grow again. 

You stumbled to your feet, stopping outside the guest room. The clothes you had given Cloud were still there, neatly folded and you walked in without thinking. It still smelled like him, faint traces of leather and soap still clinging to the walls and you slumped onto the bed, sorrow twisting tightly around your heart. You felt something crinkle beneath your hand and you absentmindedly threw the cover to the side, stopping when you saw that it was a carefully folded piece of paper. 

You opened it up, your eyes tracing over the unfamiliar handwriting. _‘Tifa Lockheart- Seventh Heaven.’_ You stared at it for a few seconds, your eyes burning again as you realized that Cloud had left it there for you, an invitation, your second chance to do everything you’d ever wanted to. 

A strange coldness settled over you, soothing the ache in your chest and it was like you could breathe again. It was like you knew what you needed to do. 

_“I thought we agreed, no more crying.” Zack pressed his finger to the middle of your forehead, forcing you to look at him. “You’ve already cried enough for a lifetime...besides, remember every tear you cry is a new grey hair for me.”_

_The over the top panic on his face was enough to make you laugh and he took advantage of it to ruffle your hair, laughing when you ducked out of his reach. He chased after you, pulling you into the tightest hug ever and spinning you around until you were breathless. He didn’t let go of you, however, even as you came to a stop._

_“I’m going to miss you Zack,” you wheezed._

_“Of course you will!” He pulled away and winked at you, his grin infectious as he finally let you go. “Promise me you’ll visit me.” His eyes were pleading with you and you couldn’t say no anymore._

You opened your eyes, your breath leaving you as you realized that had been your last promise to Zack. Your last one and you had never kept it. If only you’d known… 

And still, deep down you knew you owed it to him, to see everything he had wanted you to see. You owed it to _yourself_. There was nothing keeping you in Gongaga now, _nothing_ , and the freedom was panic inducing. It made you restless and suddenly you needed to go. 

You needed to _**go**_. 

You packed, carefully folding everything, vaguely wondering if you’d stick out too much in the city. It didn’t matter, you sighed to yourself, you’d stick out anywhere. You stopped for a moment when you opened your remedy cupboard. Everything was still carefully organized and your eyes skimmed over to the Catarina potions. You had two left, two miracles, and you prayed softly as you dropped one into your pack. The other you placed in a separate pouch, doing your best to not jostle it. 

It felt strange looking back at your house, seeing it so empty, and you wondered how long it would be before you’d be back. Not long, a small part of you hoped while another wanted to stay as far away as possible. You’d never had such warring emotions before, and you steeled yourself as you hoisted your pack higher on your shoulder and hustled into town. You wanted to get there early so you’d have enough time to stop by Mara’s house. 

Mara was the girl you shared your market stall with. She sold trinkets infused with magic that would keep you safe from all harm. You weren’t quite sure if you believed in them but everyone else did and you liked her too much to care anyway. She was a friend and her eyes were wide when she looked into the pack you handed her, the glow of the Catarina potion painting her skin green. 

You told her you were leaving and you watched her nod, the question in her eyes, and you were ready to tell her when she reached up to pull her necklace off, dropping it around your own neck instead. Come back one day, she told you as you walked away, and you nodded even though it felt like you were lying. 

You didn’t want to think at all while you waited for the bus beneath a rusted awning, You were afraid that if you had time to think your resolve would crumble, that you’d realize you’d made a mistake and crawl back home again. A moment passed and when the rickety bus rounded the corner you realized with a thrill that soon it would be too late to turn back. You paused before climbing into the truck, your eyes taking in your home one last time and you said goodbye. \- 

The trip was long and uncomfortable. Quiet too, which was what bothered you the most. You wanted noise, you almost craved it, and you breathed a sigh of relief when you arrived at the next town over. The bustling station was enough of a distraction and you bought your next ticket. 

This bus was nicer and you dozed off after a few hours of staring out at the road. You woke up still tired and you fought back a yawn as you stared out the window. You had stopped recognizing things ages ago and you felt your eyes go big when the ocean came into view. 

_“I'm telling you!” Zack threw his rock, smiling as it skipped four times across the pond before hitting the other side. “It never ends! We could skip rocks on it forever and they would never reach the other side.”_

_“Stop lying!” you chastised as you threw your own rock. It skipped three times before sinking. “It doesn’t look that great on TV.”_

_He turned to you, his eyes sparkling. “Trust me, it is. It’s blue, bluer than my eyes even! I’m going to take you some day and you’re going to love it.”_

And he’d been right. It was so big you couldn’t even see all of it and the way the sun reflected off the waves took your breath away. You felt the sway of the currents as you walked onto the boat and you wondered why Zack had forgotten to tell you that the ocean was deep too. You spent most of that boat ride standing at the helm, your eyes taking in the gentle sway of the water, wishing you could reach down far enough to dip your fingers into the cool water. You settled for breathing in the sea mist instead, the smell of the ocean new and exhilarating. 

The boat made a stop in Junon and you stared at the giant, shining buildings. You’d seen them on TV before, on the news and in movies, but seeing them in person was a different experience altogether. You held your breath as you passed them and you shivered, pulling your sweater tighter against you. You made your way back to your room and let the ocean lull you to sleep. 

You arrived in Midgar late in the day and your legs wobbled when you stepped off the boat. They didn’t feel normal until you’d finished walking all the way to the train station. You asked about Seventh Heaven at the info booths and they’d sold you a ticket to Sector 7. You sighed as you sat on the train, half listening to the news playing over the speakers. 

“-explosion in one of ShinRa’s buildings. Many injured but no confirmed deaths at this time. Avalanche appear to be the ones responsible for this horrific act and citi-” 

You’d heard of Avalanche before, the saviors of the planet. They were on the news sometimes but it had never been for something so violent. Still, the more you thought about it, you wondered if it was worth it, to ruin ShinRa, to stop them from using their reactors. You shook the thoughts away, the idea of them sent a shiver of fear down your spine and you didn’t like it. 

You stepped off the train and stopped. Sector 7 didn’t look too different from some places you’d seen at the ruined edges of Gongaga but what surprised you was the plate above. It was hard to see the stars and with a sinking stomach you realized that you would miss the sky. Still, you pressed on, you followed the directions a paper boy had given you and you came to a stop in front of Seventh Heaven. 

It was different from what you’d imagined, realer, and you paused before walking inside, your hand absentmindedly pulling the folded paper from your pocket. The bar was mostly empty, save for a few drinking patrons near the jukebox, and the pretty girl behind the bar smiled brightly as she welcomed you. 

It had to be Tifa and you realized that Cloud was better at describing her than you’d thought. She had kind brown eyes and long black hair and she was already pouring you a glass of water. 

“You look like a traveler. First time in Sector 7?” Her tone was light, used to easy conversations. 

“Kind of.” The water was cold against your tongue and it cleared your head. “I’m looking for someone.” You held the paper out to her and watched as she read it, her eyes widening as if she recognized the handwriting and when she looked at you again it was like she was seeing you in a different light. 

“I’m Tifa,” she breathed out, looking at you with some distrust. “And you’re looking for Cloud.” 

You froze again, your heartbeat thundering in your ears. “Is he here?” 

“He’s out right now but he should be back soon,” she kept her tone sympathetic. “Here, I’ll get you a table.” She grabbed a pitcher of water and led you to a table near the window, setting it down next to you. “Give me a minute and I’ll whip you up a sandwich, you need to eat.” 

You wanted to shake your head, tell her you were fine but decided against it instead when your stomach growled. “Thank you.” 

“Of course,” she beamed, refilling your glass. “I wish I could keep you company but…” She gestured at the other patrons and you understood immediately. She looked relieved when you told her not to worry and promised to be back soon before she left you alone. 

A few moments passed before she came back with a plate, stopping to ask if you needed anything else as she set it down. You told her you were fine and she left again, leaving you to eat. You chowed down, ravenous, but stopped when a voice spoke up next to you. 

“Excuse me.” A little girl in a pink dress stood there, staring at you with curious eyes. “Tifa told me to sit with you. I’m Marlene!” 

“Hi Marlene,” you smiled and told her your name in return, watching in amusement as she plopped down next to you and opened her notebook. She began to draw, babbling about her day and her friends from school and you listened. She was nearly done with her drawing when Tifa finally approached you guys. 

She sat down across from you, a soda in her hands. Her eyes were bright as she looked at Marlene’s notebook. “Oh, what a pretty horse!” 

“Thanks,” Marlene didn’t even look up. “It’s for daddy.” 

“I’m sure he’ll love it,” Tifa continued before she looked over at you. “Her dad’s Barret, he took Cloud with him earlier today. They should have been back already.” You caught the worry in her eyes as she looked up at the clock. 

“Should we go look for them?” you asked. 

She looked surprised. “Oh, no! They’re probably just late, you know how guys are.” She tried to wave away your worries. “How’d you meet Cloud anyway? Did you work with him?” 

You felt like you’d been placed beneath a spotlight. You weren’t sure what to say, if you even should and it took a moment before you settled on a reply. “We had a friend in common.” 

“Oh! Who?” She sounded so curious, so genuine, and you didn’t want to lie, so you didn’t. 

“Zack Fair.” 

The name made something click in her head and her eyes filled with a familiarness you weren’t used to, it set your nerves on end and you wondered if she knew him. Tifa managed to school her face back into friendly curiosity again. “I’ve heard of him, he was in SOLDIER.” 

You nodded, already preparing yourself to answer more questions when Marlene sprang up from her seat. 

“Oh look! Daddy’s here!” She beamed and ran to the entrance, right into Barret’s arms. He was tall, taller than the door almost, and your eyes went straight to the machine gun he had instead of an arm. You had never seen grafting like it and your mind immediately went into overdrive, thinking about how it had been attached, how it worked. You made a mental note to ask if the chance ever arose. Barret’s scowl had melted into a winning smile and he’d whipped off his glasses to greet his daughter. She showed him her drawing and he wasted no time in gushing over the shadows and the grass and the happy sun she’d put in the corner. 

It was hard not to smile at the reunion but you drowned it all out as soon as you caught sight of Cloud’s hair. He walked in and it was like he knew you were there. He zeroed in on you and wasted no time walking up to you, eyes widening just barely as he took you in. You stopped breathing as he stopped a few steps away, his lips forming your name. “You’re here.” 

You swallowed thickly, taking in the SOLDIER uniform again, the flower tucked into his vest, the expectant look in his eyes. “I found your note.” 

The little smile that spread across his face was enough to warm your heart. He glanced over at Barret and grimaced before turning back to you. “Wait for me, okay?” 

You nodded, still a little breathless and sat back down, watching as he began to walk toward him only to be stopped by Tifa. She looked apologetic as she spoke and Cloud looked annoyed before the two of them seemed to come to an agreement. He walked back to you, the storm in his eyes fading as he handed you a pair of keys. “Let’s go, Tifa found us a place to stay.” 

You stopped long enough to return Tifa’s wave and you noticed with a sinking heart that Cloud hadn’t looked back. The night air was cool against your cheeks and you blinked at Cloud, who waited for you at the bottom of the steps. His eyes were bright in the night and when you stopped next to him he grabbed your pack and swung it over his shoulder, ignoring your protests as he stayed just out of reach. 

“Cloud!” you complained, annoyed as he raised his eyebrows. 

“Let me do this for you.” That was enough to stop your whining and he couldn’t hide his satisfied smile. “So, how do you like Midgar?” He changed the subject, nodding towards the road, matching his steps to yours as you set out. 

You huffed out a laugh. “I don’t know yet, it’s too big.” 

He chuckled and glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “You’ll get used to it.” You almost swore that he winked but you weren’t sure. “How was your trip?” he asked and for the rest of the walk you told him about the bus, the boat, the ocean, the overheard conversations, everything. 

Almost everything anyway. 

You stopped when you arrived at an old apartment complex. The paint was peeling and you were sure that it had seen much better days. Still, it was more than you had expected and you breathed a sigh when you opened the door to your room. Cloud walked in after you, dropping your pack gently next to the bed. 

“I’m the next room down.” He pointed his thumb to the left and began to make his way to the door, awkwardly. “I’ll let you sleep” 

“Cloud, wait-” 

He stopped before he reached the door and when he turned you could see the questions in his eyes. Midgar hadn’t been part of your plans, he knew that, and he’d barely begun to ask you what had happened when you told him everything, voice cracking, hands shaking, and he was there. He held your hands, listening to all your thoughts, even the incoherent ones where you tried in vain to explain the loss you felt and when you were finally done, you felt better. You were still cold but Cloud’s hands were warm. 

“This should have never happened.” His voice was low in the night and you leaned towards him the tiniest bit. “I’m sorry.” 

“I know,” you said and reached up to rub your eyes, sniffling softly. “I want to know about you, though. How’s the mercenary life treating you?” 

Annoyance flashed across his face. “Tifa found me a job with Avalanche but I don’t think it’s going to work.” 

“Avalanche?” The name echoed around your mind and you remembered the news at the train station. “You blew up the reactor?” 

His shoulders slumped a little and he nodded. “I helped them set the bombs.” 

He looked upset and you knew why. It had been different than he’d imagined, worse probably. There had been a lot of destruction, displacement, if you listened closely you could just barely hear the sirens and you knew you were supposed to feel bad and you did. Your heart sank at the thought of all those people, of the danger they were in, of the trauma but the cold part of you was glad that the ShinRa company was hurting tonight. You thought about your withered garden and it felt like justice. 

“Is it true they’re trying to save the planet?” you asked, voice hollow. 

“That’s what they say.” Cloud leaned back onto his hands and glanced over at you. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

You blinked at him, a little surprised but took it in stride, refusing to think about it too much. “Me, too.” You smiled and he looked away. 

He reached for the flower he’d pinned to his vest and handed it to you, his fingers warm as they brushed against yours. “A little welcome present.” He stood then, barely pausing as he walked towards the door. “Good night.” 

Warmth bloomed in your chest and you couldn’t stop smiling as you raised the flower to your face, the soft petals velvet against your skin. “Thank you, Cloud.” 

The door closed softly and he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this chapter felt a bit rushed, i didn't want to draw this part out too much lol still, i hope you guys enjoyed it ! also, do you guys like the long chapters? or would you prefer shorter ones? like less than 2000 words short?  
> this chapter was hard to rewrite, especially the beginning, there's so many like deep emotions and fears in this one for the reader but i hope i did them justice 
> 
> anyway, thank you guys so much for reading !! i'll see you guys soon, stay safe, love y'all ! :)


	7. Wait

When you woke up the next day Cloud and Tifa were already gone. You felt a small pang of disappointment but you immediately shook it off. They probably had important things to do and you knew deep in your heart that you couldn’t help them, at least not yet. 

You didn’t want to wait around in your room and you decided to make your way back to Seventh Heaven, doing your best to remember all the turns you’d made last night. You got a little lost, stopping briefly to buy some french toast from a food stand before you finally arrived at the bar. You had been planning to eat your breakfast out on the steps but someone had left the door propped open with a heavy rock. 

‘Was that even safe?’, you thought to yourself as you pushed it open, a bell ringing above you. 

A girl with a red bandana whirled around, her ponytail flying over her shoulder. Her brown eyes were bright, and she zeroed in on you like she’d been waiting. “Finally!” She waved you over to the counter. “You must be Cloud’s friend. Tifa said you might show up. I’m Jessie.” 

You barely had a chance to tell her your name before she hit you with nonstop questions. 

How was your trip? How were you liking Midgar? How did you know Cloud? Was he really a SOLDIER? Did you want to have a girl’s night? 

That last question threw you for a loop. 

You’d never really had a girl’s night, there weren’t too many places to go to in Gongaga. The closest thing you’d had was the moon festival. It was for one night only and you and your friends would dance around the square until you were breathless. You remembered dancing with Zack, how he’d never tire and he’d rub it in everyone’s face for the entire year, annoying you to no end. 

You missed him. 

A heavy nostalgia began to settle over you but you shook it off when you heard the door open behind you. Tifa walked in, bright as ever with a sullen looking Cloud in tow, laden with shopping bags. 

“You guys went shopping without me?” Jessie pouted, crossing her arms. 

“ _Cloud_ went shopping.” Tifa laughed before she looked down at your untouched breakfast. “I hope Jessie gave you a chance to eat.” 

“Hey!” Jessie cried out, indignant. 

“Oh no, I just got here.” You waved off her worries and turned when Cloud sat down next to you, his faint scent of leather and soap putting you at ease. 

“Tifa asked me to help her with some errands. I didn’t want to wake you.” He managed to look as awkward as he sounded and you shook your head. 

“Don’t worry about it, I got to sleep in for the first time in ages.” 

He smiled a little, his shoulders relaxing as he leaned forward onto the bar. It was still too early for alcohol so Tifa poured each of you a glass of orange juice. Jessie chatted to fill the silence while you ate and only stopped when her phone rang. She glanced down at it, her eyes lighting up when she read the text. 

“Biggs and Wedge are here with the wines!” She was on her feet immediately, dragging Cloud up with her. “Come on, let’s go help them.” 

Tifa shook her head, chuckling as she began to make room on the counter for the boxes. “I wish I had Jessie’s energy.” 

You smiled and moved to help her, pausing for a second as you realized that this was your chance. “Tifa?” 

She looked at you as she picked up a rag. 

“Cloud told me you work for Avalanche.” 

She froze and you caught the panic in her eyes before she looked down, busying herself with wiping down the counter. “Why would he say that?” she asked, her voice a little too high. 

“I want to join.” You leaned forward, catching her attention again. “I’m a healer.” 

That was enough to give her pause and you held your breath. She looked at you as if you were a stranger all over again. 

“I’m not much of a fighter but I can learn, please.” 

There was an edge in your voice and it scared you but it was too late. You wanted this, you needed to get back at Shinra for destroying everything and when Tifa met your eyes again you knew that you’d do anything. 

“We do need a healer,” she said, thoughtful. “Let me talk to Barret first. I’ll let you know tonight.” 

You beamed at her, your heart fluttering with excitement. You were one step closer and you couldn’t believe it. 

All you had to do now was wait. 

\- 

Cloud had done his absolute best to dodge everyone’s invitations for lunch and now the two of you were sitting on a bench, devouring two big slices of pizza. 

“ _My treat,_ ” he’d said, a little smile playing on his lips as you picked your toppings. You’d been too hungry to fight him too much as he handed over the gil and had decided to settle down and people watch with him instead. Every now and then you’d catch the tail end of someone’s conversation discussing the new mercenary and you just couldn’t hold it in anymore. 

“Are they talking about you?” you asked him, grinning when he managed to look sheepish. 

“I did a couple of jobs earlier today. Word gets around.” 

“Ah, so you’re famous now, Mr. Strife.” You nudged him playfully and he shrugged you off, embarrassed. 

“I’m just doing my job.” He did his best to wave you off and you laughed. It was kind of cute when he was embarrassed but you decided to keep your teasing at a minimum for now. 

“So you have clients now?” You had a feeling he was taking these other jobs just so he wouldn’t have to work with Avalanche. 

“Kind of, it’s a lot of monster hunting.” He finished up the last of his pizza, chewing thoughtfully before he smirked. “And cat hunting.” 

“Cat hunting?” Your eyes lit up and Cloud couldn’t help but smile. “Take me with you next time!” 

He laughed and you couldn’t help but enjoy yourself. You fell into step with him as he showed you around Sector 7, listening as he told you about the jobs he had worked earlier, pausing every now and then to point out places and things he thought you might find interesting. He was trying his best to show you around and you thought it was sweet, You were almost sorry when the two of you began to head back to the bar. 

You had both promised Tifa you’d be back and you found yourself suddenly nervous as you wondered whether she had managed to convince Barret to let you join or not. The bar was still empty save for Jessie and the boys, who were all gathered around a bottle of whiskey, telling stories and jokes as they drank. 

“Glad you guys are back!” she chirped, eyes bright as she waved at you from behind the bar. “Barret should be here soo-” 

She hadn’t even finished speaking before Barret burst through the double doors, making everyone jump. 

“Alright everyone, team meeting! You too, SOLDIER boy...and bring your friend.” He pointed in your direction and you blinked, surprised, as he waved you towards the lift. You looked at Tifa and she winked. She’d done it. 

“I’m still waiting for my money.” Cloud shot back. 

“You’ll get your money, blondie.” Barret scowled as he disappeared into the floor below. 

Cloud frowned but didn’t say anything as the two of you waited for the elevator, the distaste radiating from him almost palpable. Barret was waiting for you down in their headquarters and you glanced between the two men, wondering why they disliked each other so. Barret must have felt your gaze because he turned to you, reaching up to take off his glasses so you could look him in the eyes. 

“I heard you’re a healer. One of the best.” His voice was gruff even as he smiled a bit. “That true?” 

You nodded, a bit dumbfounded as you tried to find words. “The best in Gongaga.” 

“Gongaga, ha. I haven’t heard that name in ages.” He chuckled to himself. “We could use someone like you in Avalanche.” 

You felt like you couldn’t breathe again. Avalanche was within your reach, finally. You would get your justice, for your home, for your Catarinas, for Zack. 

Barret laughed again, the expression on your face probably told him everything he needed to know. “What do you say?” 

“Yes!” you exclaimed. “I want to join.” 

It was then that Cloud said your name, the alarm in his voice enough to give you pause. “Think this through.” 

You turned to him, taking in the concern in his eyes. You knew that he wasn’t their biggest fan, to be honest you weren’t sure you were either, but they were here, they were going to take down ShinRa, and you wanted to help. You thought back to your garden, to the shriveled Catarinas that had been blown to pieces by the wind, to the dying earth and ShinRa’s greed. You thought about Zack, who had dedicated his entire life to them, dead and gone. You thought about Cloud, who had been tortured and forgotten, and it made you sick. For a few seconds you wanted to scream but you held it in. “I have,” you said to him, ignoring the surprise on his face before turning to Barret once again. “I want to join.” 

“Welcome to Avalanche.” He held his hand out and you shook it, the weight of your decision making it hard to breathe for a second. 

This was really happening. 

You didn’t have much time to celebrate before the rest of Avalanche began arriving. They all made themselves comfortable on the worn out couches except for Biggs, who was in charge of Barret’s powerpoint, clicking through the slides as he explained the inner workings of Reactor 5. The plan was complicated, a lot of it was time sensitive and you could see that everyone was hanging onto his every word. 

Except Cloud. 

He leaned against the wall, eyes down as he listened, the perfect picture of apathy, except for the tenseness in his shoulders. He did care, he just didn’t want to show it and you weren’t sure why. He would glance up at the slides every now and then, taking in the information before sulking once again. 

You sat next to Jessie and she noticed your staring. “It’s okay, he was like this last time, too.” She shrugged and glanced back at Barret, who had gone off on an angry tangent about ShinRa, much to Biggs’ and Tifa’s amusement. “I’ll help you train if you want. Tifa said you wanted to fight.” 

You had said that, you still remembered, but the thought of it sent a shock of anxiety through your chest. You had never been one to fight but you knew you needed to push through and conquer all these fears that had festered in you for so long. “That would be wonderful. Thank you.” 

“Just trying to help.” She grinned, bouncing in her seat. “Welcome to the team!” 

You smiled in return, relaxing some more as everyone began talking amongst themselves, discussing tomorrow. You stood then and walked over to Cloud. “What are you thinking about, Cloud?” 

He looked up at you, expression blank and shook his head. “I don’t think joining Avalanche is a good idea. It’s dangerous.” 

Your stomach sank a bit. “What are you trying to say?” 

“That it’s dangerous,” he said again, eyes hard. “Avalanche isn’t playing games, you could get hurt.” 

There was a beat of silence and you felt your eyes burn. You knew he was worried, you were worried too, but you needed this. “I know that but my mind is made up. There’s no going back.” 

He stared at you for a moment before he sighed, shaking his head, the barest hint of a smile on his lips. “Guess you’re stubborn too.” 

“Guess I am,” you lifted your chin, defiant and relieved when he dropped the subject. 

“We should go,” he led you towards the lift, “tomorrow is going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to avalanche !
> 
> also i love jessie so much, she's my favorite and i needed her in this lol
> 
> i'm also sorry for the long wait! work has been crazy and i'm still not used to the new schedule but im still here! :) i haven't stopped thinking about writing this lol i just needed some time 
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed it and thank you guys so much for reading ! :) i hope you guys are all doing okay and staying safe, love y'all and see you soon <3


	8. Punctual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud always knows when to show up.

Cloud went with you to the herbalist’s shop the next morning and you cleaned her out of every useful herb using the allowance Barret had given you, much to Cloud’s annoyance. 

“He has money for plants but he can’t even pay me on time?” he grumbled as you handed him the bags. 

“They’re called priorities, Cloud.” You laughed and thanked the lady behind the counter. “Besides, I’m going to teach you how to make potions, it’s a win win!” 

He sighed and shook his head but you caught the little smile before he turned away. “If you say so.” 

“Think of all the money you’ll save in the long run,” you nudged him playfully, laughing when he sighed again. 

Joining Avalanche hadn’t been nearly as exciting as you had imagined. You had been expecting to join the team at Reactor 5 that day but Barret had asked you to stockpile potions instead, which was easy enough, if a little boring. Still, you couldn’t complain, you were happy to be helping and you were a little relieved that they weren’t throwing you into the action just yet. 

Jessie and Biggs had already left by the time the two of you made it to the bar and everyone else was busy getting ready. Tifa was pulling on her gloves and Barret was busy checking his gun arm while Wedge flashed you a thumbs up from where he sat behind the bar. 

“You guys are here!” Tifa descended on you right as you set your bags down. “Wedge is staying behind to watch over Marlene.” 

“Oh good, I’ll have company.” You smiled and began to pull out your equipment. 

She smiled, her eyes bright. “The bar is all yours today then,” she said before turning to Cloud. “We need to go, our train leaves in 15 minutes.” 

He nodded and moved to follow after them but he stopped when you touched his arm. He turned back to you, questions in his eyes and you suddenly felt embarrassed. You were scared for him, for this mission, and you felt silly. He was a SOLDIER, First class and everything and he had probably gone on missions a million times more dangerous but still…you worried. 

The protection charm you’d given him still hung around his neck and you reached out, brushing your fingers over it, jumping when he caught your hand with his. “It’s going to be fine, don’t worry about me.” 

“I can’t help it.” You shook your head. 

“Well don’t,” he commanded, a little smile playing on his lips as he took a step closer. “I’ll be fine.” 

You lowered your eyes, your face hot and only looked up when he gave your hand a little squeeze before letting go. “They’re waiting for me, I’ll see you tonight.” 

You nodded, resigned at last and wished him luck one last time as he left with Avalanche. Your chest felt heavy as you watched him walk away and you weren’t sure why. You knew he could handle himself, he was a SOLDIER after all but you kept thinking back to when you first saw him, beaten and bloody and barely breathing and you wanted to run after him, to stop him, to keep him from getting hurt like that again, but you stayed still instead. 

It wasn’t up to you. All you could do was wait and hope for the best and goddess knows you tried to. You kept yourself busy, making potion after potion while you did your best to chat with Wedge and Marlene and you didn’t stop working until your hands ached. 

“You made a lot.” Marlene sat across from you, her eyes big as she looked up from her coloring book. “Will you teach me?” 

“Of course.” You smiled, hiding your wince as you stretched your fingers. “We can go buy more supplies tomorrow.” 

She lit up and went back to her coloring, chattering about how she wanted to help Barret and about school and the cats her and her friend played with during recess. She had so many ideas and you knew that everyone here was doing their best to give her a normal childhood and it warmed your heart. You knew that you hadn’t known them very long but it already felt like you were part of their little family. 

It only made you worry more, though, and when the team finally burst back in through the doors you were on your feet, rushing towards them. They didn’t look too bad, just a few bruises and scrapes and you were already reaching for your salves and potions when you stopped cold in your tracks. 

Cloud wasn’t with them. 

You blinked, hoping that you’d somehow missed his spiky hair and your heart stopped in your chest as reality crashed over you. Your worst fear had come true and you flinched when Tifa touched your arm. You looked up at her, eyes hot as you tried your best to keep calm. “What happened?” 

“He fell…I-I couldn’t reach him in time.” Her eyes were downcast, dark with her own emotions and you wanted to cry. 

This shouldn’t have happened, not to a SOLDIER like Cloud, not to a First Class. Your hands started to shake and you jumped when Barret’s hand landed on your shoulder, grounding you even as a few tears leaked from your eyes. 

“These things happen,” he said, his voice gruff but kind. “He knew it, we knew it. It’s part of the job. All we can do is make sure his sacrifice isn’t in vain.” 

You reached up to wipe away your tears, doing your best to swallow your sorrow as you met Barret’s eyes. He was right, you realized with a sinking heart but Cloud had been right too. Avalanche wasn’t what you had thought it was but it was too late now. You had to see this until the end, for Zack, for Cloud, for yourself. 

“So what now?” you asked, your voice hoarse. 

“Well,” Tifa looked unsure, “we’ve heard that Don Corneo has been working with ShinRa and I want to see if it’s true.” 

She told you that she was going undercover as one of his potential brides which immediately left a horrible feeling in your gut. 

“I’ll go with you.” You didn’t want her to go alone, not when so many things could go wrong. 

“No.” She shut you down immediately. “This is a job better done alone. Besides, I don’t want to put you in any unnecessary danger. Cloud would hate me for it.” 

“Cloud’s not here. I’m going.” The words left a bitter taste in your mouth and you jumped when Barret interrupted you. 

“No, you’re staying with me. I need you to help me plan tomorrow's attack. A pair of fresh eyes would do us good.” 

“He’s right!” Tifa forced herself to sound chipper. “And you can train with Jessie for a bit.” 

Your eyes felt hot again but this time your tears were from frustration and you held them back. You wanted to help so bad, you wanted to do more than just make potions and look at plans but you knew they were right. 

Tifa said your name and waited until you met her eyes again. There was sorrow in them and your heart twisted in your chest. “We’ll be okay.” She forced a smile and you nodded, doing your best to steel yourself. 

“We’ll be okay,” you repeated. “Now, let me heal you, we can’t have you all beat up for tonight.” 

She nodded and sank down into one of the chairs, closing her eyes in exhaustion as you got to work. You took care of her larger injuries, slathering them in salves, watching as they healed over, barely leaving a mark, but there was nothing you could do about the bruises. She told you not to worry about them, that Jessie would hide them with make up later. The thought made you uneasy but you nodded and moved on to heal the rest of the team. 

You were just going through the motions, honestly, and everyone else was too. Biggs and Wedge sat around the table, sipping whiskey while Barret spoke to them, doing his best to cheer them up. Tifa and Jessie disappeared for a while to get ready and you helped Marlene sharpen her colored pencils for school the next day. 

The sun had just set when Tifa and Jessie came back. Jessie had worked her magic on Tifa, you couldn’t see a single bruise on her and she looked like a beauty queen. 

“You look ready to kill, Tifa!” Wedge winked, flashing her a thumbs up. 

She laughed and waved him off. “Hopefully I won’t have to.” 

“But she will if she has to!” Jessie pumped her fist into the air, hyped up enough for all of you. 

It was enough to make them chuckle but not enough to eliminate the tension in the air. Barret walked her to the chocobo taxi waiting outside, giving her some last minute instructions while the rest of you waved from the porch. Tifa looked calm when she waved but you could see the nerves in her eyes as she turned away. 

She was scared. 

You all were. 

Things felt real now, too real, and it was hard for you to focus on anything, so when Jessie asked if you wanted to train for a bit you agreed without thinking. She rustled up an old pair of Tifa’s gloves for you and pretty soon she was coaching you through all her favorite kicks and punches and twirls. She used to take dance classes when she was still an actress, she said it helped her move more gracefully and you had to admit she was right. She was lethal and smooth everytime she attacked and you did your best to emulate her, throwing in some of the moves you used to practice with Zack, surprising her. 

“Where did you learn that?” she asked, impressed, as she dodged a particularly hard kick. 

“A friend taught me.” You were a little surprised too. “I guess I still remember.” 

You thought back to those easy summer afternoons, back when Zack still visited every few months, back when you were still carefree. The two of you would go out onto the porch to take in the fresh air and he would offer to teach you his newest moves, to try and convince you to try out for SOLDIER still. 

_“Come on! You’re a natural!” he’d say as he dodged one of your punches, the grin on his face unwavering. “Angeal will be impressed.”_

_“You think?” You laughed and spun around, crying out when he caught your foot mid kick and knocked you to the ground, dropping down next to you, breathless and chuckling._

_“Would I ever lie to you?” He was so close to you, blue eyes bright in the sunshine and you knew that all he wanted was for the two of you to be together. He was your family and you were his._

You still were. 

The memory made you feel heavy and it took you a second to shake it off. You blinked and suddenly Jessie was there again, fists too fast for you to dodge and you tensed up, preparing for the blow when Biggs threw the door open. 

He stood there for a second, ashen faced and panicky. “We gotta go. Bad news from HQ.” 

You and Jessie shared a look before you followed him back into the front part of the bar where Barret and Wedge were flipping through maps of Midgar. You could see Barret’s eyes desperately tracing route after route, looking for something. 

“What happened?” Jessie’s asked, the shake in her voice barely noticeable. 

Barret looked up then, eyes dark. “They’re dropping the plate on us.” 

Dropping the plate? 

A cold panic gripped you and you couldn’t breathe. Was that even possible? You thought about the heavy metal hanging up above you, about the sound it would make as it fell, the weight of it crushing everything below. It took everything in you to control the panic rising in you and you stood next to the other Avalanche members, frozen, as Barret detailed his plan. 

Everything was a blur as you prepared for battle. Jessie strapped herself with flash bombs, Wedge put together his guns, and Biggs gave you some fire materia for your borrowed gloves. You flexed your fingers, the snug fit of the gloves comforting in a strange way and you blinked when he told you to try it out, gasping when your hands went up in flames. You could feel the heat from the fire but it didn’t burn you. 

“Cool isn’t it?” Biggs flashed you a smile before all of you looked to Barret who was waiting by the door. 

“Alright, team,” his voice was grave, “this is it. It’s up to us.” 

_It’s up to us._

His words echoed in your head as you ran after them and they didn’t stop until you were at the base of the plate. You looked up, your eyes going to the spot where the plate was connected and you felt your gut wrench as you imagined it falling once again. Barret told you to stick close right as the five of you broke into the tower, rushing up stairwells and busting through doors, shooting down any ShinRa guards that stood in your way. 

The first one to stay behind was Biggs, then Jessie, and finally Wedge. _‘I got this,'_ he’d said, flashing you a toothy grin before he turned to face the oncoming wave of guards. You had wanted to stay but Barret pulled you along, telling you they’d be fine right as you burst out onto the top of the plate. 

The cold air cut into your cheeks as you took in the two men standing in front of the terminal. The bald one was busy hammering away on the keyboard and the other red headed one grinned at you, green eyes glinting in the artificial light. 

“Oh,” he smirked as he threw open his baton, the tip of it crackling with electricity, “you’re finally here.” 

“Sorry to keep you waiting!” Barret cried out as he began shooting. 

You decided to go after the man by the keyboard and you immediately regretted it when you felt the sting of electricity sweep across your arm. The red head stood in front of you, smirk still in place as he glanced down at the scorch mark right in front of you. 

“You’re quick. I like that.” 

Anger flared up in your chest and you activated your materia, swinging right at him. “You think?” 

“Nice one.” He stepped back, his eyes only growing brighter. “But you missed.” He swung his baton again and you ducked, your hair standing up on end because of the static. 

“So did you,” you replied as you threw yourself at him, your fist sliding against his cheek for the briefest of seconds before he jumped back. 

He rubbed his thumb across the burn mark you’d left, his grin growing. “And you’re feisty, I think I might like you.” 

His casual tone had you fuming and you threw yourself at him again, your fiery fists meeting nothing but air as he toyed with you. It wasn’t hard for him to parry most of your blows and pretty soon it was all you could do to stay on your feet. His eyes flashed with light, just like Cloud’s, and suddenly he was close enough for you to see the two red crescents beneath his eyes, bright against his pale skin. 

You couldn’t parry, you couldn’t block, and you cried out as you fell to the ground. You heard the air whistle as he sliced through it with his baton and you braced yourself for pain but it never came. 

Instead you heard a clang of metal and when you opened your eyes Cloud was there, blocking the man’s attack with his buster sword. He looked at you over his shoulder, eyes bluer than ever, and you noticed the tiniest glimmer of eyeshadow on him as his lips quirked up. 

“Sorry I’m late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg you guys ! work is kicking my ass ! but it's down season so now i can relax a little bit lol
> 
> and @the ending i'm such a hoe for dramatic entrances (and reno lol), sorry if the chapter felt a bit rushed, I didn't want to make it too angsty or too long 
> 
> anyway ! thank you guys for reading and for all the kudos ! i haven't written fanfic in ages and knowing you guys enjoy it makes me so happy ! i'll see you guys next time ! stay safe, love y'all ! <3


	9. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle does more damage than you thought and Cloud worries.

Cloud was alive. 

He was _alive._

The relief you felt was short lived, however, as both men launched into battle. The clash of Cloud’s sword against the man’s baton made your bones shake and the resulting shockwave made you lose consciousness for a moment. 

You came to just as Barret dragged you away from the fight. “Stay with me, ya hear!” 

“I’m fine,” you gasped out as you sat up, head pounding. “I’m fine.” 

Cloud had managed to push the battle as far away from you as possible and you turned to see Tifa standing at the terminal, her fingers flying over the keys as Barret fought the other man. You were still dazed and it took you a moment to gather your bearings before you could stand up. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you again so soon.” The red head taunted Cloud, his smirk growing. “You can’t stop us, you know.” 

“Shut up.” Cloud rushed at him, so fast he was almost blurry. 

You took a wobbly step towards him, wanting to help but you fell back instead, hitting the ground hard. The man noticed and he laughed as he began his retreat. 

“It’s too late, babe. You should get out of here while you can.” A helicopter rose up behind him, the blades buffeting you with wind, and he looked right at you before he grabbed onto a dangling ladder and got carried off. 

Everything slowed down after that. Tifa cried out in frustration as she punched the terminal’s screen, cracking it, Barret let out a string of cuss words as he emptied out his entire clip into the computer, and still the countdown continued. The feeling of impending doom gripped you, freezing you to the spot, helpless to do anything but watch the seconds dwindle. 

“We need to go! Now!” Cloud was next to you, reaching down and hoisting you up, pulling you close to him as he ran towards the edge, Tifa and Barret hot on his heels. The terminal beeped as the countdown finished and you wanted to scream as the plate began to drop, the screeching of metal was too loud, loud enough to make your ears hurt. 

You began to fall, each step lower than the last and just as gravity began to take hold of you, Cloud wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him as he grabbed onto a rope that connected to the next plate. You squeezed your eyes shut, holding tightly onto him as you swung through the air, the wind cutting through your hair as the plate fell behind you. 

Cloud grunted as the two of you hit the ground, holding you to his chest as he took most of the impact for you. You struggled to get your breath back, still stunned by the fall, and winced as Cloud sat up, taking you with him. He didn’t give you much time to rest as he helped you stand and you were already turning to search for Tifa when the plate exploded behind you. 

The force of it threw the two of you forward and you hit the ground again, harder this time. There was so much dust and ash floating around, you couldn’t see. Your ears were ringing so bad you couldn’t even think and Cloud was there, kneeling next to you, his hands pushing your hair back as he asked you something you couldn’t hear, his eyes dark with worry when your eyes wouldn’t focus. 

You blinked at him as he pulled you up and away from the smoke. A moment later Tifa and Barret joined you, and you didn’t stop running until the air around you cleared. Cloud didn’t let go of your hand and he turned to you, speaking again, waiting for you to answer. 

You didn’t hear him. 

You couldn’t hear him. 

You couldn’t hear anything and Cloud looked just as terrified as you when you told him. He said something to Tifa before he gripped your hand tighter and motioned for you to keep going. You could see them talking, exchanging worried glances as you made your way further into the sector. People were running around and you could see the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles as they raced past you towards Sector 7 and it felt like someone had punched you in the gut. 

You were supposed to stop them. 

You were supposed to do a lot of things but it was too late now. All you could do was wipe away your tears, swallow all your guilt, and keep going. You weren’t sure where Cloud was taking you guys but eventually the dry grass lining the streets began to grow greener and greener with flowers sprouting every now and then. You stared at them in wonder, the first real plants you’d seen since you’d arrived, and the further you walked, the more there were until you crossed a bridge into a lush garden. 

You must have gasped pretty loud because Cloud turned to you, his eyes bright when he saw your face. You leaned down without thinking and ran your fingers delicately over the flowers, their velvet petals soft beneath your touch. You noticed some yellow flowers, identical to the one Cloud had given you and you had a feeling he’d gotten it from this garden. 

There was a house in the middle of all the flowers and you waited while Tifa knocked. The door flew open and an older woman stood there, her braided hair in disarray and her eyes a bit wild as she immediately directed herself at Cloud. You weren’t sure what she was asking but both him and Tifa looked apologetic and after a moment she let you guys in. 

You couldn’t help but look around and your eyes were drawn to the pictures on the wall. A lot of them were of her and a younger woman, her daughter probably, with long brown hair and bright green eyes. She was all smiles and you weren’t sure why but something about her seemed familiar. 

You looked away when Tifa’s hand landed on your arm and you saw that everyone except Barret was sitting at the table, talking about something. You knew you wouldn’t hear anything but you sat with them anyway, your eyes flitting from person to person until Barret walked down the stairs, looking a lot more composed than he had been the entire night. It wasn’t long before everyone began retiring for the night. 

You helped Tifa grab some blankets and on the way there you passed a room with a name on it. 

_‘Aerith’_

You froze. 

Zack’s flower girl. You could feel your hands shake as you pushed open the door and saw all the drawings and paintings she had decorating her walls. You walked in without a second thought, your eyes taking in everything and freezing when you saw a small faded photograph taped to her mirror. 

It was of her and Zack. 

He had an arm around her shoulders and they were both smiling brightly into the camera, carefree and in love and it made your heart hurt all over again. Zack had loved her so so much and as you looked around her room, at all her flowers and all her herbs, you knew that you would have loved her too. 

You jumped when Tifa touched your shoulder. She looked worried when she saw your damp eyelashes but whatever she asked, you couldn’t hear, and instead she just shook her head and led you back downstairs where everyone was already settling down. Barret was knocked out cold underneath the dining room table and Cloud stared out the window, his eyes unreadable. 

You wanted to say something to him, to comfort him but there was nothing you could do, you still couldn’t hear and you were exhausted, so you left him alone. You don’t even remember falling asleep, you just remember closing your eyes and the next time you opened them, sunlight was streaming in through the windows and everyone was gone. 

You sat up, your eyes sweeping around the house, panicked and mad that you’d woken up late. The door had just closed behind Cloud and you were on your feet, head spinning as you got your bearings. They weren’t leaving without you, no way, you refused to believe it. 

He was still on the steps and he turned in surprise when you pulled open the door, crying out for him as you ran. He turned just as you crashed into him. You said his name again and it felt ragged in your throat. His arms were around you, holding you, before he pulled back, leaning down to look at you, his eyes full of fire before they softened. His lips formed your name and you couldn’t breathe anymore. He was close enough that you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to and you almost did when his hands brought you back. He was speaking to you and though you couldn’t hear him, you could read his lips. He was telling you to stay and when you began to shake your head, he cupped your face and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. He pulled back, his breath warm on your face as he whispered one last thing before he was gone. 

You stood there, stunned, as you pressed a hand to your tingling lips. You weren’t sure why, but that kiss felt like goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg, idk why but i'm nervous posting this ! i think its because this was the last chap i ever wrote for the og fic and after this its all new territory, send help lol
> 
> anyways tho ! it's a little short and not that sweet but i hope you guys like it !! thank you so much for reading !!
> 
> i'll see you guys next time !! stay safe ! love y'all ! <3


	10. Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which cloud helps rescue aerith and thinks about you...

_Goodbye._

Cloud didn’t want to think as he walked away. He didn’t want to think about anything because whenever he did, his thoughts strayed back to you, to the way you'd said his name, to the heartbroken look in your eyes. It hurt deep in his chest and he knew why, he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. 

“Why the scowl?” Tifa asked, breaking him out of his stupor. Her eyes were worried and he could see the guilt in them even though they had all agreed this was for the best. 

“It’s nothing,” he muttered, hoisting his sword up higher on his back. “Let’s go.” 

“Cloud,” Tifa said again, her voice stern enough to give him pause. “You can talk to me.” 

He deflated, shoulders slumping as the weight of everything finally fell upon on him. “I should have done more.” He thought back to his fight with Reno, if he’d been just a little bit stronger, a little bit faster, he’d have beaten them before the countdown ended, he could have stopped them. He thought back to the church, to when he first met Aerith, to when he first fought Reno. He should have killed him, maybe that would have- 

“You can’t think like that, Cloud,” Tifa admonished, interrupting his thoughts. “It’ll only make you feel worse, I...” She trailed off at the end, her eyes troubled as she picked her words. “We need to rescue Aerith and we need to stop ShinRa. There’s no going back now.” 

No going back. 

Her words hit him like bullets and he forced himself to breathe. She was right, he knew it, but he couldn’t just leave things like he had. Your face flashed in his mind again, your eyes dark and your lips still soft from his kiss. His heart skipped a beat at the memory and he thought about what he’d whispered against your skin. ‘I’ll come back for you.’ 

His stomach twisted. You were safe right now, safer than you’d ever be at his side and the rational part of him knew that but his chest ached at the thought of leaving you behind. He gritted his teeth, pushing those thoughts down deeper, he didn’t have time to unpack them right now. “Yeah.” 

Tifa nodded, face full of resolve before she jogged up ahead with Barret, leaving Cloud to catch up. He hefted his sword a little higher and ran after her, eager to outrun his thoughts, and it worked... at least until they came to a halt before the ShinRa building. 

It towered high above them with so many floors he got dizzy trying to count them and instead he looked to Barret who was busy pulling open a manhole cover. He glanced up at Cloud and scowled. “What, scared of some tunnels, blondie?” 

Cloud huffed in response. “Let’s go.” 

Barret motioned for him to go first and he did, the knot in his stomach only getting tighter when he saw the familiar ShinRa logo emblazoned on the metal wall. He began to make his way down the dark hallway, doing his best to keep his wits about him but with each step he took into the ShinRa building, the more familiar things became. Memories rushed him like waves, blurry ones, painful ones that had his knees buckling as he collapsed against the wall. 

He was underwater when he opened his eyes, an oxygen mask pumped cold air into his lungs and he wanted to scream. Everything hurt, it was like a million needles had pierced his skin and he couldn’t move, no matter how hard he tried. His eyes burned as he looked out at the blurry outline of a laboratory. There were shadows, people, moving around the room, checking other glowing tubs and screens that lit up every now and then. Cloud wanted to keep his eyes open but it was too painful and darkness overtook him once more. 

The next time he opened his eyes he was in the back of a truck, a smiling man with black hair and SOLDIER eyes sat across from him, laughing as he- 

“Cloud!” Tifa was next to him, steadying him while Barret looked on in concern. “You okay?” 

“It’s nothing, I-” Cloud sputtered for words as he regained his balance and took a shaky breath. “I’m fine.” 

“You better be fine, soldier boy,” Barret grouched as he shouldered his way down the hall, waving for them to get a move on. “Come on, we need to hurry.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tifa asked, a dark type of worry in her eyes. 

“I’m fine,” Cloud repeated and avoided her gaze. “Come on.” 

Tifa pursed her lips but didn’t pursue the topic as they jogged after Barret. He did his best to shake off the uneasiness he’d felt earlier but with every floor they climbed it seemed to grip him tighter. What made it worse was that he could feel _it_ , something in his chest felt wrong, something he’d never felt before and he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. All he knew was that he _needed_ to save Aerith. 

It was all he focused on as they climbed floor after floor, doing their best to be quiet and discreet, to not attract the enemy’s attention. Cloud’s heart hammered in his chest, they were so close to floor 65, so close to saving Aerith, when someone called his name. He screeched to halt, his blood running cold. 

“Is that really you?” A smiling guard had walked over to him. “How have you been? I thought you were dead.” 

Cloud wasn’t sure what to say but the man didn’t seem to mind as he barreled on. 

“Don’t leave yet, okay? Let me go get Kunsel.” 

Pain stabbed through his head at the name and he stumbled back into Tifa. He’d heard it before, or at least he thought he had. He grit his teeth, the pounding in his head was so painful that he cried out. 

Barret caught him, watching him as he got his bearings back. “You know him, soldier boy?” 

Cloud shook his head and lied. “No.” 

Barret grunted, making it clear he didn’t believe him but he dropped the subject, moving on in silence. Tifa continued to plague him with worried glances and Cloud ignored them. He didn’t have time to explain his headaches, not that he even wanted to, but with each one being worse than the last, he knew he’d have to tell someone eventually. The thought of one crippling him in the middle of a fight was always on his mind and it terrified him but he shook those thoughts away, he’d save them for later. 

Tifa opened a pair of doors using a stolen keycard and pushed them open, revealing a pristine looking laboratory. The vision from earlier swept over Cloud and he froze, hesitating for a second before he walked inside, his eyes going straight to the large glass cages around the room. They were all empty save for the one that held Aerith. Her eyes were big, surprised, and he could see the hope on her face. 

He would have been in front of her in a few shorts stride if it weren’t for Doctor Hojo’s guards standing in his way. He cut through them like it was nothing, his sword whistling with each slash and eventually he stood before her, pressing buttons as he tried to open the cage. Barret came up next to him, pulling him out of the way as he shot at the handle, forcing the door to slide open. 

Aerith bounded out, her eyes glittering as she grinned at them. “You guys really came!” 

“We had to.” Tifa replied, smiling back. 

“No one gets left behind, ya hear?” Barret said. 

Cloud hung back, unsure of what to say as he watched them greet Aerith. He wanted to tell her he was glad to see her, more than glad really, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He smirked instead. “Can’t get rid of us that easy.” 

Aerith beamed at him, her eyes practically glowing before she turned, just in time for a big red cat to lunge toward them. They all tensed up, weapons at the ready but the cat ignored them as it crashed through the window Hojo had been standing behind instead. They were all stunned for a second before Aerith tugged at Cloud’s arm. 

“We need to go.” She ran up the stairs, pushing through the doors, ignoring all the broken glass as she kicked it out of the way. 

Cloud followed close behind, eyes sweeping up ahead to see the red cat crash against the door that closed behind Hojo. The sound of claws against steel was enough to make his whole body shiver but he pulled himself together when the cat turned on them, teeth bared as he growled at them. He heard Tifa’s gasp and the sound of Barret’s gun whirring into place and moved to push Aerith behind him but she pushed past him instead. 

“Wait!” She walked towards the cat. “This child’s a friend.” 

Cloud watched, frozen as the distance between them closed, the cat’s growl turning into a snarl. Just as he was about to rush forward and pull her back, she reached out and she _glowed_. Cloud watched, enraptured, as the cat’s snarl disappeared and a strange sort of clarity came over his eyes. 

There was a moment of silent confusion as everyone waited and then- 

“So what is it?” Barret asked. 

Everyone turned to him in disbelief and it looked like Aerith was getting ready to scold him when a new voice spoke up. 

“I am what you see, nothing more and nothing less.” The cat’s voice was gravelly, deep, and it came as a shock to everyone. 

“You can talk?” Tifa cried out, her hands covering her face in surprise. 

Everyone tensed as the cat turned to her but instead of being mad at her, he didn’t seem to care as he introduced himself instead. His name was Red XIII and he had been kept by Hojo as an experiment. Cloud didn't really care if he were being honest, his gaze had already wandered further down the hall to another large tube. 

This one was filled with some type of viscous liquid with a humanoid body floating within it. Something about it felt magnetic and he couldn't figure out what. He took a step towards it without thinking and then another and another. He wanted to stop but he couldn't, it was like his body wasn't his, like he was just a passenger and all he could do was watch, horrified. Each step was in sync with the throbbing in his head and it got worse the closer he got. It was worse than it had ever been before and every time he blinked he saw things. 

There was a woman reaching out to him. She was terrifyingly beautiful and he knew she wasn't from this world. She called his name, a whisper that went straight through him, leaving him shook. She called for him again and this time something inside him reached out for her. 

"Mother." His voice was hoarse and he made out her smile just as he passed out. 

He felt like he’d fallen off a cliff when he woke up. He was on a bed and the light in the room was entirely too bright. He blinked until it didn't hurt anymore and that's when he saw everyone around him. Aerith knelt next to him while Tifa and Barret looked on in concern. 

"You're awake." Aerith sounded relieved and Cloud remembered the last time he'd heard those words. You had been the one next to him then, your hair mussed from sleeping at his side, he remembered the breathlessness in your voice, his chest burned and the realization hit him like a train. 

He wanted you there. 

With him. 

He sat up, wincing when his entire body cried out. "What happened?” 

“ShinRa got us. When you collapsed they swarmed us. There was no escaping them.” Tifa explained, frowning. 

"They brought us here, to my room." Aerith said, looking around, her eyes sad as she took in the artificial light and the colorful paintings on the wall. "This is where I lived with my mother." 

Cloud thought about how her hands had glowed and about ShinRa’s pointed interest in her and he sat up a little straighter. "Aerith, whatever you haven't told us you need to tell us now.” 

Aerith looked down at her hands, gathering her thoughts for a few seconds before she finally spoke. "I'm a Cetra, well half anyway, my mom was…” She trailed off. “She was what people called the Ancients. " 

Barrett gasped. "You're telling me you're one of the Ancients, the ones ShinRa have been trying to study for years? " 

She nodded. "They've been trying to recapture me since my mother died and Elmyra took me in. They think that I can take them to the Cetra’s promised land." 

"But that's for the Ancien- I mean for you and your ancestors.” Barrett blurted out. 

“I know,” she said, "but I can't find it, not even if I wanted to." There was sadness in her voice and it broke Cloud’s heart. 

"We can worry about that later,” he said, standing up on wobbly legs, “we need to get out of here first.” 

"You suggesting that we break out of here, Soldier boy?” Barrett asked. 

“Exactly." Cloud caught Barrett’s smile right as it turned into a grin. 

"Finally we can agree on something." He said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Let's go." 

Cloud reached for the doorknob first, to test if it was just for show or not and he was surprised when it turned easily in his hand. He pushed the door open to reveal an empty hallway. A sense of dread overtook him as he rushed out. _Where were all the guards?_

"The president's office is just a few floors up," Tifa said as she followed after him down the hall as they looked for the stairwell but the further they walked, the worse the feeling in Cloud’s gut became. He rounded a corner and froze. There were blood splatters all over the floor, the walls. There were bodies too, ShinRa guards slumped over dead, laying in pools of their own blood. Tifa gasped behind him and he heard Barret swear as he took in the scene. 

It was a massacre. 

His stomach turned and for a second he wanted to turn away, pretend that none of this had ever happened and go back to doing what he had been trying to do before; disappear. 

It was too late though and he knew it, so instead he pushed forward, his eyes straight ahead as they climbed but the scenes only got more and more gruesome the closer they got to president ShinRa's office. Blood coated the walls like paint and he wanted to hurl when he saw a flash of Nibelheim Square, littered with dead bodies, flames licking away at the buildings he had grown up in. He blinked the images away but they had staggered him and he sucked in a shaky breath even as he continued on. It wasn't until they reached the president's office that they all stopped to breathe. 

"This looks really bad," Tifa said, her eyes darting back and forth as she steadied herself. 

"Who could have done this?" Aerith asked, her voice small. 

"I don’t know, let's just hope they're gone," Barrett said. 

Cloud took a deep breath and pushed open the door to reveal the president sitting in his chair, a very long sword sticking out through his back. 

"Oh shit," Aerith breathed. 

"Sephiroth," Tifa said, "that's his sword. But how? They said he died in Nibelheim." 

_Sephiroth._ The name bounced around Cloud’s head and he could see him, silver hair flying behind him, green eyes filled with contempt as he towered over him, that deadly sword coming right at him and then nothing. He gasped, the vision had made him nauseous and he turned away from the president's corpse. A round of gunfire from outside almost made him flinch and he looked up to meet Tifa’s eyes. 

"Let’s go." 

He went first, Tifa right behind him. It looked like the main branch of Avalanche had already arrived. He could hear the gunfire down below and he looked to the sky, searching for any type of rescue aircraft he could flag down. A gust of wind blew his hair back and he felt a spike of relief when a helicopter rose above the building until he saw the ShinRa logo on the side of it. He could just barely make out Reno’s red hair in the pilot’s seat and he scowled as it landed in front of them. Cloud tensed, expecting a fight and turned to his friends. "Go, I'll take care of them. I'll find you guys again. " 

Tifa and Barrett shared a look of trepidation before Barret nodded. "Alright Soldier boy, we'll be waiting." 

Cloud nodded and watched them run inside. He turned back, ready for anything and gritted his teeth. Reno didn't stop the helicopter and Cloud watched as the door opened and a blond man in a sleekly tailored white suit stepped out. His hair was slicked back and his eyes were cruel from this distance. 

"So you're the Soldier everyone’s been talking about." The man's voice was smooth, as unbothered as if he were sipping whiskey in his parlor. 

"What if I am?" Cloud shot back. 

"Then that makes me your new boss." The man smirked. 

Cloud scowled, irritated as he finally recognized him. "Rufus Shinra." 

The man smirked and strode forward. "So you do know." 

"I don't work for you anymore." Cloud bit out. 

"That doesn't change the fact that I own you." Rufus said, reaching for the sword at his side. "Looks like I'll have to beat it into you." 

"Great," Cloud muttered to himself as he unsheathed his sword, dragging the tip along the ground, sparks flying as he charged at Rufus. Cloud wasn't really sure what to expect but he certainly didn't expect the president's son to meet each of his slashes head on, but he did. He parried each and all of his attacks and for a moment Cloud feared that he had bitten off more than he could chew. Rufus had trained with the best, he was quick but Cloud had mako running through his veins and he slowly let more and more power bleed into his attacks, letting them grow more and more savage as the fight dragged on. 

After a particularly nasty clash, Rufus stumbled back, smirking as he regained his balance. "You’re better than you look, it's a shame I don't remember you." 

He still hadn't lost that easy air about him and Cloud wasn't sure whether to be impressed or annoyed. 

"I always remember the good ones," Rufus continued. 

Annoyed, Cloud decided, definitely annoyed. 

Reno's helicopter came back into view, buffeting them with wind and Rufus grimaced. "Looks like we'll have to finish this at a later time. " 

"Oh no we won't!" Cloud rushed at him again but it was too late, Rufus had already grabbed onto the drop-down ladder and was gone. Cloud watched him go for a moment, a cool rage coursing through him before he rushed back into the building to look for his friends. 

He was running down the stairs, full speed when he crashed into Tifa, both of them staggering back before regaining their balance. 

"Cloud! Thank the goddess! I- we got split up when the doors closed too fast and I-" She was panicking and Cloud reached out to steady her, gripping her shoulders firmly until she focused on him. 

"Tifa _breathe_ , we'll find them. " 

She took a shaky breath and nodded before leading him back down the stairs. “We didn’t have time to decide on a rendezvous point. I’ve been looking for the camera room but I found you first.” 

“Sure you weren’t just looking for me?” Cloud managed to joke and regretted it when Tifa punched him in the arm. Hard. 

“Cloud!” She did her best to sound annoyed but he could see the way her shoulders had relaxed the tiniest bit. “This is serious!” 

He winced and rubbed his arm. “You’re right, lead on.” 

She turned again and the two of them scoured the floors until they found the surveillance room. Cloud smashed the door open and Tifa got to work flipping through the various cameras until she found the rest of their group. They were facing down waves and waves of drones and they looked tired. 

“What floor are they on?” Cloud asked, his eyes taking in the unending barrage of attacks. His stomach dropped when he realized that even if they got there in time to help, they’d be overwhelmed as well. “We need to get them out of there, there’s no way we can take them all.” 

Tifa bit her lip as she racked her head for a solution. “They’re three floors down. I’ll figure something out on the way.” 

The two of them took off, flying down the stairwells and dashing through the open doors, jumping over the occasional guard’s body with barely a glance. The sounds of battle became louder with each step and soon they were nearly upon their comrades. Cloud looked at Tifa and found her eyes filled with fire. 

“What’s the plan?” he asked. 

“No plan.” She kicked through the door, revealing their friends in the middle of battle. “We grab them and go!” 

Cloud couldn’t help his chuckle as he sprinted after her, watching as she knocked over all the guards in her way until she was close enough to grab Barret and Aerith’s hands. She dragged them out of the frey, not pausing to look around but it didn’t matter because he was there to watch their backs. He motioned for Red XIII to follow after them before he activated his fire materia, unleashing a tornado of flames that threw the enemies back, giving them enough time to escape. 

“Took you long enough!” Barret grumbled at Cloud. 

“You’re welcome,” he shot back, too busy looking over his shoulder to be truly annoyed. “We need to get out of here.” 

“Damn right!” 

They ran for what felt like ages until finally they were in what looked like a large warehouse. Cloud took a moment to breathe, his eyes taking in all the covered machinery while Tifa beelined to the back where she tugged off one of the covers, revealing a small blue delivery truck. It only had two seats in the front and Cloud shared a wary look with her before jumping into action. 

“You guys get out of here,” he said. “I’ll give them the runaround and meet you at the entry point. Thirty minutes.” 

He was surprised when no one resisted. He’d been expecting a bit of push back from Barret but no, he just slapped him on the shoulder, wished him luck, and climbed into the bed of the truck with Red XIII. Tifa and Aerith both shot him worried looks but they didn’t bother arguing as they drove away. 

Once they were out of sight he turned and rampaged back into the building, swinging his sword, knocking over everything in his path, doing his best to attract attention to himself. He was fast enough that the guards and the drones couldn’t swarm him and he got even faster when he found a motorcycle on the twentieth floor. His thirty minutes were nearly up and he stopped bothering with the enemies then, choosing instead to make his escape. 

He lost count of how many guards he’d knocked over as he zoomed past them and it wasn’t until he was on the ground that he finally took a breath. The wind was cold against his face and the relief that washed over him when he finally caught sight of his friends made his legs weak. 

“You made it,” Tifa smiled, her eyes a little watery. “I was starting to worry.” 

“About me?” he asked, smirking. 

“Yes about you! We saw all those explosions, we thought you were done for!” Aerith cried out and Cloud was sure that if she’d been close enough she would have socked him in the arm. 

“Didn’t mean to worry you guys,” he mumbled. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Barret interrupted. “At least you’re here. We should get going before ShinRa starts locking down the city.” 

“He’s right,” Tifa said, looking out at the chaos playing out around them. “We need to leave right now.” 

All of them were rearing to go except for Cloud, who stood frozen, his thoughts flashing back to the last time he’d seen you, to the promise he’d made you. _I’ll come back for you._ It had been in the heat of the moment, he knew that, but it didn't make it any less valid. 

“There’s something I need to do first,” Cloud said, revving up the engine, “I’ll meet you guys at the rest stop.” 

Tifa gave him a knowing look and she agreed before anyone else could ask any questions. “Hope it all works out.” She took off, leaving Barret mid question, much to his annoyance. 

“Yeah, me too,” Cloud mumbled to himself as he took off towards Sector 5, his chest tight as he thought about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm here ! sorry for the long wait, i started a new job and the schedule is killing me, it's hard to find solid writing time :( but! this fic is always on my mind lol
> 
> i feel like i may have rushed it a bit at the end but i can only rewrite it so many times before it stops making sense lol hopefully you guys still enjoy it tho ! 
> 
> thank you guys so much for reading and for all the comments and the kudos ! y'all don't know how happy i am knowing that you guys are enjoying this ! i'm already working on the next chapter, so expect it soonish lol 
> 
> love y'all ! stay safe and see you soon <3!


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